


Bathwater

by Hormonal_Trashbag



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angry Sex, Canon-Typical Violence, F/M, Injury, Pregnancy, Unplanned Pregnancy, there was some plot until there wasn't
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-04
Updated: 2017-06-14
Packaged: 2018-09-28 07:06:54
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 25,832
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10078868
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hormonal_Trashbag/pseuds/Hormonal_Trashbag
Summary: Rey sells BB-8 to Unkar Plutt and with the droid in the hands of the First Order at last, Kylo Ren discovers it doesn't have the map.If he wants a job done, he'll have to do it himself.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is inspired by a bit of art on tumblr: https://hotside.tumblr.com/post/157942210373/invasion-of-privacy-from-her-hateful-face-he
> 
> BASICALLY THIS IS TRASH. ENJOY~

Rey swallowed, eyes blown wide at the generous offer of portions on Unkar Plutt’s service counter. There was no such thing as wealth on a desolate planet like Jakku but sixty portions could go far. She could finally get herself a new pair of boots; the soles were cracked with age and wear and there was no avoiding the sand that slipped inside, chafing her dry, calloused heels with every step. She could take a vita-shot to boost her immune system. Bless the maker, she could even take a _bath!_ A real one, with soap and water.

Guilt flooded her chest as she glanced down to the droid. Rey wished she could help and she understood its plight better than most, but when would she get another offer as good as this? It was a painful reality but she really had no choice. She was healthy now, but if she injured herself scavenging or fell ill, she would starve. For once in her life, she could have a real food supply and she wasn’t going to turn down the opportunity for a droid.

“Well, girl?” Plutt heaved an impatient sigh. The line of scavengers behind her were becoming antsy. This wasn’t a decision she could sit on.

Rey knelt beside the Beebee unit. “I’m sure your friend will come back for you,” she murmured, “but until then Plutt will take good care of you.” He couldn’t afford not to, if he meant to sell it.

It gave a meaningless, panicked trill in binary, to which she could only respond with a small, sad smile. Ultimately, her survival had to come first. In another life, she might have been able to do something, but the dye was cast and she had to make do with the lot she was given.

“Fine,” she answered as she straightened her back, “but I want a tank of water, too. A full one,” she clarified with glaring emphasis.

Rey wasn’t sure when she had last seen Unkar Plutt _smile,_ but it was unsettling, to say the least. “You’ve got yourself a deal.”

The Beebee unit made frantic circles around her legs as she gathered her payment with broad swipes of her arms, his retractable arm reaching out and tugging at her pants, much as a child pleading for attention would. Rey forced herself to ignore its desperate attempts as she stuffed the portions into her bag and at last Plutt called back into his shop for someone to collect the distressed droid. The issue was now out of her hands entirely and her regret passed quickly. For the first time in months, she would be going to bed with a full belly.

She didn’t notice the small data chip--a map--the droid had managed to sneak into her pocket before Plutt’s goon powered it down.

 

* * *

 

Rey only had a squat basin to crouch over in but once she had returned to her abandoned AT-AT and eaten a full portion with gusto, she placed it on the hot sand under the shade of the walker and filled it with water. The liquid was clear and slightly cool, and with no more than a small cake of cheap soap to cleanse her dry skin, she stripped out in the open desert to settle into her small bath. Though it was hardly a luxury on the more central planets, Rey allowed herself to relax and bask in the soothing water, humming as it lapped at her thighs.

For a few minutes, she simply sat there, staring out at the endless sky, letting the water soak in.

With her feet propped in the sand outside her basin, she cupped the water in both hands to trickle it over her skin, rubbing the soap in roughly to wash away days of grime and sweat and grease until it stung.

After rinsing the suds away she lingered in her bath, not willing to part with the rare fortune so quickly. Somehow, she couldn’t fully laze in the water, regardless of the fact she wouldn’t be able to do so again for quite some time. Was it remorse for the droid she had sold?

No.

Rey tensed. Someone was approaching, she could feel it in her bones. Looking around in alarm, not sure how she could sense the nearby stranger, she spotted a tall figure swathed in rich black, marching towards her with an unsteady but determined gait. He was much closer than she had expected.

So much for enjoying her bath.

She had no time to worry about modesty when the ominous figure stood only feet away. Rey reached for her quarterstaff and hauled herself up, immediately easing into a defensive position.

He clearly wasn’t a local--people of Jakku knew better than to traipse into the desert donning all black--but there was something intangible about the stranger that she could instinctively feel. She knew he was dangerous.

He briefly appraised her in silence before speaking through a voice-altering apparatus in his heavy, predatory mask. “You’re the scavenger that sold the droid to Unkar Plutt.”

Her shoulders fell, though she did not move from her spot. This must have been the friend that Beebee unit had gone on about. Why he had decided to seek her out was beyond Rey.

“What the hell is your problem?”

He started at that, his back straightening to make him impossibly taller. “Excuse me?”

“I haven’t taken a proper bath in years and you’ve completely ruined it. And all to thank me for finding your droid? I’ve never seen someone do something so idiotic.”

“I’m not here to _thank_ you,” he said with a scathing tone. “I’m looking for the map that Beebee unit was carrying.”

Rey scoffed. “I have no idea what you’re talking about, and I certainly don’t have any map.”

He growled, taking a step closer. Rey wasn’t going to have it. Without another word, she swiftly swung her staff at him. He anticipated this move, promptly raising his palm for the shaft of her quarterstaff to slap against his leather glove. As if she could be stopped so easily.

Rey scowled up into the empty space where his eyes if he was human, should be. She struck at his head with the other end of her staff, only for him to catch it with his other hand.

“That worthless worm Plutt doesn’t have it, so you must. Where have you hidden it?”

She grunted as she took advantage of their proximity, shoving him with his hands still on the staff. This he had evidently not anticipated because he stumbled a step back. Rey didn’t hesitate to swipe his legs out from under him and the massive man went tumbling down, unfortunately bringing her down with him.

Rey landed, completely naked, against the stranger’s wide chest with a hard thud. He smelled of sweat and earthy musk, thick muscle rippling beneath his dark robes. She scrambled to sit, squeezing him with her thighs to keep him in place as she released her staff and thrust both hands into his hood. She expected a continuation of their struggle but as the hood fell back and she lifted the mask away he lay utterly frozen between her legs.

His pale skin was speckled with beauty marks and contrasted with his dark, curly mane, but that was nothing to the deep brown of his rounded eyes and the flush of his ample lips, parted in surprise. His high sloping cheeks reddened as they ogled at each other mutely. The man was oddly beautiful. The infuriating desire she felt to brush her lips over his pink ones must have been a strange effect of the adrenaline rush.

Rey couldn’t place how she knew, but he felt it too.

She shifted and-- _oh._

_Oh, my._

It seemed he was large in more ways than one. He swelled beneath her, cock trapped by the confines of his layered clothing and the press of her smaller body, and he glared up at her in a blend of mortification and frustration.

That same intangible _something_ passed between again as they stared in a stalemate.

The impulse was too much for her to bear. Holding his gaze, she slowly rolled her hips against him once, shuddering a faint gasp at the way his coarse outer robe rubbed against her exposed sex. His eyebrows raised in utter shock, and for a moment, victory over the man flared in her chest.

He snapped, giving a feral snarl as if he could feel her gloating as clearly as she did. With no preamble, he gripped her wrists in a large hand and pushed Rey onto her back, settling between her thighs and holding her hands over her head.

“I want the map,” he hissed, not forgetting his mission even as he ground his hips into her.

“I don’t have it,” she insisted with annoyance, her statement broken by an embarrassing moan.

He paused momentarily to gaze down at her with a stunned expression, then his lips spread with an absolutely _filthy_ smirk.

“You want me to fuck you,” he mumbled, removing the glove on his free hand with his teeth, sliding it over her stomach to the trimmed hairs below. Looking downwards, he parted her lower lips with his fingers, admiring the glistening, pink folds. “Right in your little, scavenger cunt.”

 _Stars,_ she hated that he was right. Almost as much as she hated the whimper that burst from her throat.

“I’d be willing to give you what you want if you give me the map,” he whispered, stroking her with a thick finger, his face ducking towards hers.

She ripped a hand free from his tight grasp, snaking her fingers through his robes to wrap around his cock and squeeze mercilessly.

_“Ah--!”_

“I’m a scavenger,” she reminded him with a snide grin, “I _take_ what I want.”

He made a deep, guttural sound in the back of his throat, then dipped his mouth to collide with hers. Rey gasped as he sucked her lower lip into his mouth only to bite down on the soft, rosy flesh with cutting incisors. The salty tang of blood flooded her senses and she cried out, but he soon soothed the hot sting with a plundering tongue.

She doubted he would be thinking very much about a map while she still had him in hand. His finger was making maddening cycles around her throbbing clit, distracting her from the fact he had her bare and on her back in the sand that now clung to her skin. Rey could feel the slick of her arousal as it slipped down the curve of her backside and wasted no time in unzipping his pants from within his robes.

She reached through the opening to pull him out and was not disappointed. He slapped her hand away to grip his length and glide it up and down along her weeping slit with its head, causing her to jolt and whine every time it ran over her clit. Finally, he released her other hand, which she swiftly tangled into his luscious hair to give a sharp tug.

“I’m not a toy for you to play with,” she snarled, nipping at his earlobe.

His response was simple. With a single, sure stroke and a grunt, he seated himself fully inside her. Rey moaned, her head slumping into the sand and chin jutting up to expose the length of her neck.

He gave her no time to adjust to his girth, starting with a brutal rhythm that had her body singing. The sand beneath her was abrasive, scratching her back with each violent snap of his hips, but there was little sympathy to be found with him; he gripped her calf to forcefully press the top of her thigh to her heaving chest then lowered more of his bulky weight onto her to lave at the juncture of her neck and shoulder.

The stretch was both too much and not nearly enough. She clawed at his shoulders with rounded nails, hoping as she helplessly keened that he felt the scrape and that it _hurt_.

Ruthless as he was in his relentless pounding, she rocked with him, savoring the delicious way the hairs around the base of his cock grated against her sensitive sex, creating an extra friction that had her toes curling. The obscene, wet slaps of their hips meeting seemed loud in the stillness of the desert, as if echoing off the dunes for others to hear--though she knew no one was there.

“Come for me,” he ordered in a tone that left Rey with the impression that he was used to getting his way. In this case, she had nothing against letting him.

Still, it was so easy to give him some strife. “I would, if you were able to make me co--”

She choked for air when he shifted his angle to grind against the spongy flesh along the roof of her entrance.

“Do you _really_ want to finish that sentence?” he seethed, broad fingertips flicking at her clit nearly to the point of pain.

She sobbed, shaking her head as he panted against her chest, smothering himself in the pliant curves of her breasts.

Her muscles seized before she was ready for it, her spine arching as she thrust against him sporadically, clenching and unclenching around his cock. He didn’t stop. He didn’t slow. He bucked through the tight, gripping heat of her orgasm with single-minded fastidiousness, taking her higher than she knew she could go, until her mouth fell open in a silent scream and she crashed, fast and hard.

Rey couldn’t breathe. She wasn’t sure she wanted to. He eased her down with steady strokes, waiting until she was slack with satisfaction to suddenly flip her onto her stomach and grip her hips, plunging deep from behind.

He was close if the desperate groans rumbling in his chest was any indication. His hips smacked against her backside with his insistent rutting until he wasn’t so much thrusting as he was grinding into her with solid jerks.

She clamped down and he answered with a stifled cry ripping himself free from her aching, wet hold in time to spurt, hot and viscous, onto her sand-caked back. Both still gasping, he scrubbed the sticking mixture of sand and his spend along her spine; in the back of her mind, Rey knew she was in need of another bath.

He crashed into the sand beside her, and she turned her head to look at him. They stared at each other warily, until in a quiet voice he admitted, “This is not how I expected today to go.”

Rey couldn’t help a humorless laugh. “No?” she asked, lightly blowing sand at his face.

“No.”

She huffed, forcing herself up onto her elbows. “I really don’t know anything about a map.”

The man frowned. “The droid--”

“Wouldn’t even tell me its designation number,” she interrupted. “It certainly didn’t tell me about whatever it was carrying.”

He looked at her as if he could see through her, and whatever he saw must have satisfied him at last.

He sighed, relenting. Rey watched him as he tucked his member, now soft, back into his layers and made to stand. He looked down at her, sprawled naked on the ground as if he had something he wanted to say. Ultimately, he changed his mind.

“I’m Rey,” she told him, knowing that was what he meant to ask.

He stooped down to pick up his mask then tuck it under his arm.

“Kylo Ren,” he returned quietly.

The name was familiar, but she couldn’t place it. Kylo Ren gave her no opportunity to work it out however, he promptly turned away and lowered his mask back over his head, stomping away in the same direction he had come from.

Later, after cleaning once more and redressing, she would find a data chip in her pocket--the map Kylo Ren had been looking for that would lead to the mythical Luke Skywalker.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i cannot believe i just wrote this garbage jfc
> 
> ps. sorry, Finn.

Disbelief roiled in Kylo’s gut. There the scavenger girl-- _Rey_ \--stood, wind whipping stray strands of brown hair as they faced each other in the snow, the traitorous stormtrooper at her side. He had no reason to feel betrayed, their encounter hadn’t been anything more than physical, but it was impossible to ignore the rage that rose to his throat.

She had _lied_ to him.

At least she had the decency to look ashamed. It all played out in his head; she had distracted him with her whorish, little act on Jakku and then taken the map to the Resistance, to his mother and...Kylo hissed through grit teeth, beating against the bowcaster wound with a gloved fist.

He wouldn’t think on Han Solo. He _couldn’t_. Not without feeling like his heart was plunging, just as the smuggler had from the oscillator catwalk. That pain was for later, right now he felt nothing but fury at the woman that had so obviously used him.

His side burned with the heavy plods of his boots as he approached.

“Rey,” he seethed, eyes narrowing at her.

Her expression was stricken, her voice a plea as she answered in kind, “Kylo.”

FN-2187 stepped between them in an unwarranted display of protection. Kylo had no patience for a traitor that was overestimating his own abilities. He could be dealt with later, but Rey came first.

“He’s dangerous,” he heard FN-2187 frantically whisper to her, “we need to get to the Falcon, _now.”_

Kylo wasn’t going to be deterred so easily. He yanked the stormtrooper aside, sliding into her personal space to loom over her. She pulled her lower lip into her mouth with her teeth and he furiously wondered if she meant to divert his attention a second time. Still, her hazel gaze, lovely even in the dying light, met his without hesitation.

He gripped her chin. “That was a cute show you put on before, but don’t think it will work here. I know you had the map, Rey. You lied to me and then you spread your legs to lead my mind elsewhere.”

She ripped herself free of his hold to snarl back at him. “That is _not_ what happened!”

_Ho_. You could take the scavenger from the desert, but you certainly couldn’t take the desert out of her.

His nose flared as he stepped closer still, pressing his firm body against her smaller one. He wouldn’t be lied to again. Rey shivered in the cold, her pert nipples, the pink, round points he could remember so clearly, pebbled to show through her desert wrappings. Damn her. Kylo wanted nothing more than to tear her clothing away and gather a small, soft breast into his mouth.

She glanced with no small amount of alarm to FN-2187, thrown to his backside and still sprawled in the snow. She didn’t want the stormtrooper to know her shame and that only filled him with desperation to show it to the world.

“Isn’t it?” he growled.

When she looked towards the traitor again, her expression saddened. There was no hiding the truth from him, not when he was piecing the puzzle together himself. Her features hardened and she uttered, “Finn, get out of here.”

He shuffled to his feet. “I don’t really know what the hell is going on here, but there’s no way I’m leaving you with this monster.”

Kylo’s head snapped towards the traitor and he leveled him with a dangerous glare. Did this footsoldier think he stood a chance against _him,_ Master of the Knights of Ren? No, he realized, that wasn’t quite it.

FN-2187 desired her. Possession gripped him at the thought. As livid as Kylo was with her, the little liar, he had already staked his claim in the sands of Jakku as he fucked her into oblivion. Rey was _his_. His to look at, his to touch, his to punish. With a cruel sneer towards the stormtrooper, he covered the round swells of her backside with both palms and gave a vicious squeeze.

She gasped as he lifted her from the snow to line up their hips, grasping at the front of his outer robe in an attempt to steady herself.

_“Go,_ Finn,” she commanded, her snarling expression fixed on Kylo.

He tipped her head back to drag his teeth along the column of her neck, backing her into a tree with sure steps.

“Perhaps I should make him stay, Rey,” he rumbled, forcing his way between her trembling thighs. Kylo could feel his blood flowing south and it would certainly teach her to never deceive him, if he plowed into her cunt until she raved and screamed and limped away from him, all for the stormtrooper to see. “Let the traitor watch as you cry out my name.”

“Like _hell,_ you will,” she answered, wrenching at his hair.

FN-2187 must have recognized the situation for what it was, a battle he had no part to play in, because at that he was gone. Kylo didn’t particularly care if Hux’s failed soldier got away, not when all his anger was set on the woman squirming against him. He would make her pay for having him look like a fool.

“Were you with the Resistance from the beginning?” he whispered dangerously to her lips, glistening after her tongue made a slow swipe across them.

She chased his mouth with a grumble, “I had no idea the droid left the map with me and _you_ didn’t exactly tell me you were with the First Order.”

She was making excuses. It wasn’t going to win her any favors with Kylo. His lips twisted in amusement that she would even try.

“Oh, no you don’t,” he chided, canting his hips with a rough lurch. “The fact remains: you had it, you said you didn’t, and I’m not letting you get away with telling falsehoods.”

Rey bared the straight rows of her white teeth to him as she writhed. “What right do you have to punish me?”

Kylo squeezed a hand between them, cupping the mound of her sex through the material of her desert-worn pants. A dark, damp spot had already formed over the crotch--was it possible that she was enjoying this? Satisfaction spread in his chest.

“You don’t!” she accused, adding with a scathing tone, “You just want to fuck me into submission!”

He did. He really, _really_ did. Though she evidently wasn’t going to admit to it, she did too. Kylo could feel the hunger curling in her belly at their proximity, taste the heady lust in her breath as it broke from her parted lips in thick puffs.

“Are you going to pretend you aren’t wet for me?” he murmured, harshly rubbing at her clit in close circles. “That you don’t want my cock?”

She moaned, snaking a deceptively strong arm around his neck and willfully leading his mouth to clash with hers. It was a clear answer if there ever was one. Her kiss was savage, all teeth and tongue, and he grunted as she bucked her hips, letting her draw his tongue into the heat of her mouth.

Kylo could feel the gnawing ache of arousal swarming in her, driving them towards an unstoppable completion. It didn’t matter how furious he was, his anger nearly made it better.

A moment more and he was being shoved backward. He stumbled a few dizzy steps before slamming on his backside once more, glaring up at her to find the pale garments she wore were smeared with crimson. His side seared at the reminder of his injury.

“Such a kriffing idiot,” she muttered to herself, then telling him, “you’re going to bleed out.”

“I’ve had worse,” he scoffed, tugging her towards him with the force. Kylo could imagine generations of Jedi turning in their graves at his blatant misuse of his abilities but he supposed there was a reason he had turned from that path.

Rey yelped in surprise, catching herself before falling face-first into him. “What did you just do?”

He had no patience for explanations. She landed gracelessly in his lap, swollen, red lips open as she panted. Rey seemed so small, swaddled in clothing that did little to keep her warm, gyrating into the tight bulge of his trousers as he thrust upwards in search of a friction they wouldn’t reach while dressed. Small but strong.

Her face lowered so she could finish the meal she was making of his mouth, whining with need when their mutual grinding got her no closer to release.

“Rey, I want you to pull your pants down and bend over with your hands on the tree.”

Her need outweighed her argument. She undoubtedly sensed that if she didn’t do as he said, he wouldn’t let her find any satisfaction. Her cheeks were pink, whether it was from the icy air or her desire, and she stood over him to make a tantalizing show of unzipping her pants and tugging them down just enough to expose the short hairs that protected her lower lips. His jaw tightened at the realization that she wore nothing under her pants.

This scavenger girl, whoever she was, was going to be the death of him. His breath shuddered as he stroked himself through the layers he wore, watching as she turned that perky backside to him and took swaying steps.

_Fuck_. He probably wasn’t going to last long.

A low sound he didn’t mean to make reverberated in his throat as she spread her thighs and bent over, exposing that perfect pussy to him. A sticky, shining line of her arousal stretched between her dripping apex and the seam of her crotch, where he had brutally ground into her without remorse.

Kylo swallowed. He had intended to tease her to the point of tears but that plan was quickly expelled from his mind. All his body demanded was to be buried to the hilt in her.

He stood, reaching into his own pants to pull himself out and pump his length in preparation, then slowly glided into the slick, clenching heat of her sex from behind. Rey groaned, fingers hooking into the chapped bark of the tree, her spine arching so that her bottom jutted to create an angle that allowed him to slip deeper.

Kylo bowed over her, fingers clamped hard about her narrow waist as she spun her hips against him, her inner muscles fluctuating around his girth. He brushed loose hairs from the nape of her neck, tilting his head forward to lick a hot stripe against her chilled skin and she gasped as he rocked into her at a gradual pace.

“Kylo, please--”

He silenced her with a sharp, swift slap to her backside, smirking at her responding cry, proud at the way she fluttered with pleasure around him. She would take whatever he gave her without complaint. Kylo gently smoothed his palm over the smarting impression of his hand on her flesh.

“Do you want me to let you come?” he intoned, restraint quickly waning.

“Yes,” she begged.

He pressed a kiss to her shoulder. “Are you going to lie to me again?”

_“No!”_ she wailed back, hips stuttering in search of the right friction.

“Good.”

She nearly yelled at him when he retreated but he didn’t give her the opportunity, rapidly filling her once more. He nipped at her ears as he gave her the same ruthless rhythm that had her reeling on the sand before. Grunting and cracking his hips, Kylo listened to her babble in a coarse language he didn’t know but could well understand.

Sweat beaded on his forehead with exertion; he was so close, his balls tightening as his orgasm approached a lightspeed. He slinked a hand down the flat of her stomach, smearing her clit with gloved fingers that were sure to chafe, his free hand flattening above hers against the trunk to keep him balanced.

He couldn’t stop himself from coming before she did, a pleasant shiver crawling down the length of his spine as spilled deep inside, heaving with each pulsing burst until he felt completely emptied.

He eased out of her abused cunt, carefully folding himself back into his pants and kneeling as her thighs trembled. His come was trickling out of her and he gathered it in his fingers to guide it back inside, rubbing into her folds as his digits offered solid, shallow thrusts.

Kylo closed his mouth over the curve of her backside, teeth scraping and tongue lashing as finally, she quivered and came around his fingers.

Her legs were still shaking as she straightened her back, and he kissed the other cheek of her bottom before helping pull up her pants, unjustifiably pleased with himself. When she turned around, face flushed and eyes dilated, she frowned at his undeniably haughty expression.

She crouched over to whispered a promising threat to his lips, “You had better not lose too much blood because next time, I’m going to ride you so hard you forget your own name.”

He rather liked the sound of that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I AM DONE, NO MORE. I REFUSE.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I CANNOT BELIEVE

Charging up the on-ramp of the Millennium Falcon, thoroughly fucked and walking with a perceivable limp, was perhaps the most awkward and uncomfortable moment of Rey’s life. She reeked of sex, she was certain and could feel Kylo’s spew soaking into the crotch of her pants, but those minor, physical discomforts were nothing to the horrified way Finn looked at her.

Or was that disgust she saw flashing in his dark eyes?

If he was repulsed, Rey could hardly blame him. With her onboard, Chewbacca took off, flying clear of the dying planet-turned-weapon and into open space. Finn maintained his stunned silence and Rey retreated to the refresher to clean herself up and straighten her clothing.

Her reflection was still flushed when she gathered the courage to look into the grungy, square mirror over the small sink. She still had the decency to feel ashamed of herself.

Kylo Ren was a monster. She had watched him kill Han Solo, his own _father,_ in cold blood and minutes later had bent over for him to rut into her like a beast. Maybe she was a monster, too, a stupid animal so easily swayed by the heat he invoked, the glorious stretch of him defiling her. It would happen again, Rey knew very well. The feelings he roused were irreversible and unruly, impossible to control. Her fingers curled into fists at the thought of his lingering touch.

Something unfathomable seemed to be pulling them together and neither she nor Kylo was strong enough to resist. Desire she had never experienced before boiled in her blood, turning her blind to all else. She had sensed it on Jakku and she had sensed it on Starkiller, surely she would when they met again.

Rey wanted to hate him. She wanted to hate herself more. Instead, she pictured the warm brown of his eyes and the smattering of beauty marks on his face, a sign that he hadn’t always hidden behind a mask. Han had called him Ben, a name too soft for her to consolidate with the man she knew him to be.

It felt cruel to make excuses to Finn, who at her return into the main cargo hold refused to meet her gaze. Explanations were meaningless when she was more of a traitor than he would ever be. He stared down at the lightsaber Maz had gifted them, eyes glazing over after looking too long at the gleaming, silver hilt. It called to her, the old crone had claimed, and Rey wondered if her inexplicable connection to Kylo Ren had anything to do with it. He wore a similar hilt at his hip, as dark and mottled and incomplete as he was.

It seemed ridiculous to fear the saber when Kylo had already made a sloppy mess between her thighs. Without thinking, she reached for it. The reaction was instantaneous; the lightsaber shot from Finn’s grasp and slapped into her open palm as if it had always belonged there, in her hands.

Rey knew she would never forget the frightened expression that clouded Finn’s face. He had quickly become her first friend and already she was losing him. Dismay twinged in her gut but this was not a problem she could solve with ease.

Facing Leia Organa as she stepped onto the tarmac on D’Qar was worse. Though very little had passed between her and the Resistance general before Rey had followed Han Solo to Starkiller Base, once she looked into the older woman’s eyes, everything became clear. Kylo Ren was her son.

Celebrations were kept relatively short in the wake of victory. The First Order had the location of the Resistance base and preparations to depart were underway. Still, General Organa managed to sneak away from her duties to seek her out. Panic flared in her chest but the general made no mention of her son, instead insisting that she was the one that needed to pursue Luke Skywalker and the Jedi training he offered.

Rey couldn’t think of a poorer chosen person for the Resistance to send.

 

* * *

 

Ahch-To was so far removed from civilization that Rey could pretend what had passed between her and Kylo was no more than a depraved dream. She spent months under Luke’s tutelage without any contact with the galaxy at large and though he surely suspected her of her shameful transgressions, he never confronted her about it.

She wasted her nights away lying on a thin sleeping palette, trying to forget how Kylo’s fingers had dug so deeply into her hips that he left rosy, bruising blotches on her skin.

Rey couldn’t fully free herself of the spicy taste of his breath. She learned to ignore it instead.

Confident that she was competent enough to be left to her own devices on the island, Luke made the decision to go on a short supply run. Now that the island had to support two lifeforms, food dwindled quickly. With the Falcon gone, he had nothing to travel by besides an archaic, water-bound transport that relied on sails. Even though the next piece of land was a mere hundred klicks away, he would be gone for days.

It seemed ironic that in all the time she had been on Ahch-To, it was during the span of those short days that a black shuttle with outstretched, avian-like wings descended.

Her visitor wasn’t the Resistance and it wasn’t the First Order either. It was Kylo Ren. He had come alone.

Their previous encounters, while passionate, had been antagonistic in nature and now that she was learning to harness the force, she hardly knew what to expect. Rey roused from her place of meditation to unclip the lightsaber from her belt.

Anticipation thrummed in her limbs as the ramp to his shuttle lowered, billowing steam, and he swaggered down. It was the warm season on the island, and though it did not begin to compare to the sweltering heat of Jakku, it was balmy enough that her training clothes left her midriff exposed.

The muscles of her abdomen tightened as he appraised her through the empty gaze of his mask.

“You mean to fight me,” he uttered at length. “Is that wise?”

Undoubtedly not.

He took a step closer. “Do you remember your last words to me?”

She wished she didn’t. Warmth flooded her face as she recalled whispering a filthy promise to ride him the next time they met.

“We’re fighting on opposite sides of a war,” she reminded him.

Kylo reached for his own saber. “I don’t care. That has nothing to do with this.”

His actions begged to differ. As much as Rey wanted to keep their atrocious dalliances separated from her unexpected allegiance to the Resistance, to delude herself into believing she could keep these aspects of her life apart was foolhardy.

She waited for him to ignite his fiery blade. He tossed it into the grass, entering her space unarmed.

Rey felt her will weaken as the rich smell of his robes invaded her senses. He cupped both of her cheeks with gloved hands, tilting her face up towards him.

“You don’t realize what would happen if I were to fight you, Rey,” he said, voice taking on a static quality through his mask as he spoke in too low a tone for it to pick up. “I have been training in combat since I was a boy. I could slaughter you without trying to.”

Perversely, his softly spoken warning had her buzzing with lust. Sickened, she turned her face away, shaking off his hold.

It wasn’t Kylo she was battling, deep down she struggled with herself. She had to fight this abhorrent desire, it would only lead to ruin. Her fingers slackened around the hilt of the saber and it dropped to their feet.

Though he said nothing, she could sense his thought, _that’s a good girl._

Rey snarled, barrelling shoulder-first into his chest. He grunted, the air knocked from him. Kylo hadn’t been prepared for her attack but he recovered quickly, to her surprise amused by the unexpected assault.

He rolled his shoulders, unfurling his hooded cloak to dump it on the ground before charging right back at her. She dodged; Kylo may have been stronger but her smaller form granted the benefit of speed. A long arm reached around her waist and she twisted from his hold, kicking back at his shins to aid her escape.

Her freedom was short-lived. She tumbled to the grass in a graceless flop with the momentum of her break away and he followed her down, pinning her with his larger body, boldly brushing his pelvis against her backside. He was half hard already and Rey wondered if it was her presence or their brawling that excited him. Rather than restrain her hands, he made the mistake of getting carried away and reached his hands under her to grope at her breasts.

She hissed at his roughness, planting her palms firmly on the ground and pushing up, shoving him backward. This did not lead to a second escape but rather to him sitting in the grass with her back to his chest as he pulled her with him. His touch gentled and Rey bit her lower lip.

She hated her inability to resist him. Rey arched away from him before slamming back, his head protected by the mask as it hit the ground.

When Rey turned about to look at him, his robes were splayed out around him, the ridge of his cock pressing against his trousers. She swallowed, eyeing that bulge, knowing what she would get to feel if she were to release it from its trappings. The temptation was too much for her to fight any longer and so she had no choice but to relent. Already, liquid warmth was pooling where her thighs met.

_Damn him!_

Rey clamped her jaw closed with frustration, reaching for his boots and tugging them off.

Startled, Kylo propped himself up on his elbows. “What are you doing?”

Crouched between his legs, she reached to unlatch the leather belt at his waist.

“What does it look like I’m doing?” she snapped, adding, “Take off that mask.”

He didn’t move. “Why?”

_Why?_ Was he serious?

“Because,” she fumed, tearing along the seam at the front of his outer robe to unclasp the line of hidden hooks that kept it together, “I want to see the stupid faces you make as I fuck you.”

He growled his approval, ripping the mask from his head and chucking it aside. He swatted her hands away, working more quickly through his ridiculous layers than she could, as Rey pried at his trousers, yanking them from his hips once unzipping them. His cock, straining and an angry red, jutted up towards his navel.

He was a long, broad stretch of pale skin a firm muscle, marred by pinkened scars. If she had been given the chance, Rey would have taken the time to admire his exposed body but he grasped her biceps and pulled her across his stomach so that she was crouched over him, her face hovering above his. With a pleasing hum, he stretched upwards to smother her with his lips.

She shifted her face to part her mouth for his tongue, moaning as at last, she had him how she really wanted him. Kylo made deep, exploratory swipes with his tongue, leaving no corner untasted, twitching under her with a need that betrayed his desperation. Rey slid her hand down to carefully fondle his balls, smirking into his mouth when his hips bucked.

Rey pulled her hand back to settle her weight on him, fingers hooking into luscious hair as they ground into each other in tandem.

Kylo nipped and suckled his way down her throat, mumbling to himself, “Where are your sweet, little tits? I should come all over them--”

She gasped as he ripped her shirt off her back. Rey tweaked one of his nipples between her thumb and forefinger in retaliation, grinning viciously as a groan tore from his throat and his hips stuttered once more. Her advantage over him was brief; she sucked in sharply as he closed his mouth around her own nipple to flick at the erect bud with the hot slick of his tongue, covering her neglected breast with his large palm.

His other hand was busy fiddling with the clasp of her pants and the zipper below it, struggling to find the folds within.

Impatient for the contact she yearned for, Rey kicked them off herself, at last slotting her hips against his. She parted her sex, sliding up and down along the underside of his length, savoring the spread of moisture and the veins and velvet texture of his cock.

Kylo was nearly foaming at the mouth when she gathered the trickle of pre-cum from his wide tip with the pad her thumb to smear it against the taut, white skin of his belly. His head tilted back and at last, she gripped him by the base and seated herself on him fully.

They exhaled together, basking in the delicious sensation of being so utterly connected. While it had only been days between their first and second rendezvous, it had been months since she last felt him inside her. Disbelief coursed through her. Had she really forgotten how big he was? The stretch was nearly unbearable and Rey reveled in it.

She lifted her hips and then sheathed him again, her clit bumping against his pubic hairs in a way that had her whimpering, overcome with pleasure. Kylo pressed his chin to his chest to watch the rhythmic dips and ascents, stretching her lower lips open to see how she plunged to take the whole of his cock, hot, heavy, and hard.

_“Faster,”_ he panted, thrusting upwards to meet her sinking motion.

_Oh--!_

“Fuck,” she whimpered, “Kylo, yes--”

He repeated the movement as she rocked, each jostle causing the round swells of her chest to jolt, which he watched with rapt interest.

Rey set a punishing pace, each swift stroke nudging against her g-spot in a way left her breathless. He wasn’t the sort to sit idly by and watch her ride him; she was in danger of losing balance with each upward jerk but didn’t care-- _couldn’t_ care when each wet slap of their hips was tearing wails from between her lips.

His eyes were wide and feral, the veins of his neck standing out as she rolled her pelvis and squeezed her muscles around him, but she couldn’t break away from his gaze. Rey steadied herself with her hands on his chest, damp with sweat. Kylo skimmed his thumb over her clit lightly at first, increasing pressure with every joint swing until her toes curled and her chest burned, her cries loud enough for a self-satisfied smirk to cross his face.

Her orgasm was sudden and powerful, crashing into her like a speeder as all the muscles in her body tensed. She throbbed around him and he snapped, cursing in a broken howl as he came in spurts, gushing warmth deep within her sex. Rey would never admit to it, but she relished the sensation of his load coating her insides and spilling from her swollen, over-sensitized slit.

Giving a shaky sigh, she leaned over to press a chaste kiss to his lips. His member was slick as it slipped out, covered with the evidence of their joining. Kylo huffed through his nostrils as he returned her kiss with a sloppier one of his own, lazy and sated.

“Perfect,” he whispered, so quietly she wasn’t sure she was meant to hear him.

Rey loathed how right he was. There really was no turning back now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I MEAN IT THIS TIME, NO MORE. at least for now. I need to work on Hex.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> UM...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (there is a little bit of butt stuff. it's like two paragraphs. just a warning.)
> 
> I can't believe I'm writing more of this.

Kylo had always considered himself to be a man of restraint. He didn’t partake in the usual vices of man; he had no interest in any chemically induced haze or the gourmet foods of the gluttonous rich. Kylo hadn’t even had very much interest in sex, at least until he had felt himself being pulled towards Rey with a force even he couldn’t resist. She was a devilish temptation that had wriggled under his skin.

It was rather unfortunate that she still clung to the Resistance with foolish dedication but even that could not temper his desire for her. Perhaps more unfortunate than that, however, was that as she grew stronger with training, she learned how to block him--to an extent. He could still feel when she curled in on herself in her bunk, forehead damp with sweat, her small hand shoved into her sleep pants and furiously rubbing, unable to satisfy the deep-seated _need_ that cursed them both.

He had no choice but to ache until he could find her again, now that she was no longer staying on Ahch-To.

The last place Kylo expected to sense her was at a gala being hosted by the First Order.

He hated these sorts of events on principle, finding them to be a waste of funds that could be put to better use elsewhere, but Hux always managed to squeeze just enough out of their budget to throw these ostentatious, lavish parties. Kylo knew the general liked nothing more than to rub elbows with the best of society, the narcissistic prick.

He was often forced to attend these events, his high rank demanding he showed his face for their benefactors, all of whom loved and loathed his shadowed presence. Hux always sneered that if Kylo had one purpose, it was to inspire donations as their mascot.

Kylo slowly surveyed the large hall, halting in surprise when he spotted Rey amongst the twirling dancers. He frowned; though her partner was turned away from him, Kylo could recognize that slicked-back shock of red hair anywhere. Her dainty palm rested on Hux’s shoulders, his slimy fingers curled too low on her back, creeping obnoxiously to her bottom.

Absolute fury burst in his chest, a scowl twisting his features. What did she think she was doing? Hadn’t she already learned this lesson?

Rey belonged to _him_. Kylo would not stand idly by as Hux tried to pilfer was was rightfully his. She should have known better than to let another man touch her. He saw red as he stormed onto the dancefloor, navigating with resounding stomps towards her.

She wore a flowing, pale peach gown that cinched at the waist, her hair long enough now to be piled onto her head in elaborate knots. Truly, she was an image of feminine innocence, which was likely why Hux had singled her out amongst the shrewd women donning slinky black.

Rey saw him before her unwitting partner did, eyes rounding in panic when she felt the rage that licked at his boots like hellfire. Her glossy lips parted, breath hitching as he stepped behind her, one gloved hand snaring the wrist that rested at Hux’s shoulder while the other glided down her spine, prying Hux away to grip her backside with obvious possession.

White-hot anger crossed Hux’s face, his jaw dropping in shock at his sudden intrusion. Kylo ignored the other man, growling as he buried his nose into the crook of her neck from behind, gulping in the sweet, floral scent of her perfume. He preferred the salt of her sweat.

“Rey, at what point did I ever make you think another man could touch you?”

Hux’s eyes narrowed at them. “You said your name was Kira,” he accused.

Rey shot Kylo a glare from the corner of her eye-- _there she was_. Even under peach chiffon, Rey was still his fierce scavenger.

He chuckled, scraping his teeth against the exposed skin of her shoulder. “I thought I made it pretty clear how I felt about lying.”

She hissed, “Kylo--”

Rey shuddered when he grabbed her by the hips, tilting them so that her backside jutted into his groin. All Kylo could think about was how badly he wanted to _ruin_ her, right in the middle of that dance floor.

The face Hux made was one of unadulterated disgust. “Take your little harlot, Kylo Ren. I’m not interested in sloppy seconds.”

Rey bared her teeth, snarling as they both raised their hands at him, simultaneously holding him frozen in place. An odd sense of pride tingled in his chest at her furious, instantaneous reaction. Hux blinked in fear, realizing quickly that he was dealing with two temperamental force users. It was just like him to underestimate a woman, Kylo smirked.

“Talk about her again--even _think_ about her--and I’ll tear you limb from limb, regardless of how useful the Supreme Leader deems you,” he seethed, adding with a malicious smile, “You couldn’t handle her either way.”

Kylo hardly had the patience to stand another second in Hux’s presence. At the finality of his threat, he guided Rey away, not caring to notice the way their fellow party-goers were giving them furtive looks. They all knew who he was, but Rey? She didn’t seem to fit with him. Her disguise was quite convincing.

She swallowed as he led her from the gala, down a darkened hallway and through duraglass doors to an open balcony. It was late spring, on the cusp of summer, and the air clung to his clothes, heavy with damp; it had rained recently.

Once alone, she tore her hand from his.

“Why did you step in?” she asked, glowering up at him. “He was so close to spilling his guts!”

So, that was why she had snuck into a First Order event. Rey was dabbling in espionage. Had she catered her look to what Hux was known to like? New outrage burned up his throat at the notion of her dressing for anyone but _him_.

With a few, short steps, he had her trapped against the wall. She hardly had the chance to squeeze herself free before Kylo snatched her hands and pinned them over her head, his fingers painfully tight.

“Were you seducing him for information?”

“We’re on opposite sides of a war,” she reminded him, ire flushing on her face. “I wasn’t going to sleep with him!”

Betrayal flared hot in his gut. She _had_ been seducing Hux. It didn’t matter if she had no intention of letting Hux any closer; Rey had let him think he had a chance with her and that was nothing short of unacceptable. He gritted his teeth in frustration. He had been angry that she had allowed Hux to touch her but this? This was much worse.

Kylo roughly pressed his hips to hers. Already, blood was surging to his cock as he fantasized about suitable punishments. He wondered how she’d like it if he fucked her mouth and imagined her choking gags and shiny drool dribbling down her chin.

The whimpering sound she made was pitiful and desperate. “Please don’t do this right now, Kylo. It’s been too long.”

She was right. It had been much too long.

“And whose fault do you think that is?” he fumed, grinding against her.

Rey moaned, arching her back so that her chest flattened to his in a wanton display. _“Mine.”_

“That’s right,” he rumbled. “You’ve been hiding from me.”

“I couldn’t give you the location of the Resistance base!” she argued.

While he understood the logic of her decision, Kylo was long past the point of caring about reasons. He needed to feel the thick, wet heat of her pussy around him. He needed her calling his name as she struggled to find purchase, he needed her trembling with sensation as he fucked her, he needed--

 _Oh_. He needed the taste of her arousal coating his tongue. Yes, that was it.

Kylo dropped to his knees unceremoniously, releasing her hands to do so. Without warning, he rucked up her long skirt, ordering with a sharp tone, “Hold this.”

Her fingers were trembling as she gathered the peach chiffon to her chest, eyes wide as he tore her underthings, much less glamorous than the gown, from her legs with a tug. They remained around one of her ankles when he yanked a foot off the ground and settled it over his shoulder to bury his nose in her trimmed hairs and breathe deep. His erection strained uncomfortably against his formalwear, but first things first.

Kylo ran his tongue through her swollen, pink folds as if he were kissing her mouth, satisfied when she keened helplessly above him. She was a pleasant mix of salt and tang; he groaned as he curled his tongue to gather slickness, his mouth creating an indecent slurping noise when he swallowed her moisture.

Rey swore loudly, hips jerking against his face. He pulled his mouth away when her eyes clamped shut, biting down hard on the silky skin of her inner thigh, sliding his tongue over the indents his teeth had left behind.

“Look at me,” he grumbled, brows drawn tight together as her gaze slowly dropped back to him in a daze.

 _Good_.

He held her gaze as he lapped at her, watching as warmth spread across her chest. She did well, panting as flicked his tongue along her slit, but Kylo wanted her to utterly come undone. He smirked against her cunt as he realized what he needed to do.

She sighed as he slowed his tongue, bending under the palm of his hand as he soothed it up her torso, understanding flitting across her face when he touched a gloved finger to the soft swell of her lower lip. He pushed the digit forward gradually, watching it disappear behind closed lips. She mouthed at it, drawing her front teeth over the ridge of his knuckle.

Rey laved at his finger with little strokes until the leather of his glove was glistening with her saliva and as he pulled it from her lips, it released with a wet smack.

Kylo slid the finger through the crease of her backside, tracing down to the perfect furl of puckered flesh, where he pressed careful circles.

She gasped. “Kylo, what--”

He pursed his lips around her clit, giving a sharp suck as he gently nudged his digit into her asshole. Rey didn’t have to say the words--she had never been touched in this way before, likely hadn’t even thought of being touched there--self-satisfaction curled in his gut at the thought, a deep hum erupting in his chest and buzzing against her clit.

Her hips jolted again, a startled expression crossing her features as he smoothly pushed and pulled his finger in and out of her tight channel. Though he kept his movements slow, it was quite evident that she enjoyed the feeling if her whining was anything to go by. She spilled slick arousal onto his chin, bewilderment flooding her eyes as the beginnings of an orgasm fluttered in her, her legs shaking as she struggled to keep standing.

Kylo stiffened his tongue against her throbbing clit and when she came, it ripped through her violently. She cried out, knee buckling as blinding pleasure swept through her veins, her hips rubbing at his mouth as she burned. It was a sight to behold.

He stood to steady her as she slumped from her high, covering her parted lips with his own. Rey huffed into his mouth, limp and pliant as he lifted her by the hips and hooked her calves around his backside. She didn’t grimace at the taste of herself, instead sucking his tongue into her mouth, drinking in her own unique flavor.

In moments, he unzipped his trousers, the pressure of his clothes lessening as he pulled himself free. His own needs could no longer be ignored, a hot trickle of precum slipping from the tip of his cock to glide down his throbbing length.

She was so wet that when he entered her with a roll of his hips, he glided in fully with almost no resistance. It was if she was on fire, she was so perfectly hot and slippery and clasping as he pulled her arms around his neck, gyrating his pelvis with stuttering motions. The sensation was both overwhelming and decadent, her lips chasing his before latching onto his throat when his thrusting body jostled them.

Kylo grunted, nose flared as she suckled the sensitive, pale flesh at his jugular, pulling soft flesh into her mouth from between her teeth. He had intended to start slow and build up to their usual brutal pace in an attempt to make their joining last, but that wasn’t going to happen. It never seemed to, not when they were always so desperate to claw at each other and get their fill.

She was clenching around him, trying to drag his release from him before he was ready for it, her mouth still smothering searing marks against his throat as he pounded into her with a relentless rhythm. Kylo was gnashing his teeth into her ear, stray strands of brown hair catching in his mouth, the veins in his neck jutting out with exertion.

Sweat was gathering on his forehead and the back of his neck, both pleasant and not in the humid, evening air. It made their skin sticky, the slaps of their bodies seemingly deafening when paired with his stifled gasps and groans. That was nothing to how his blood was rushing in his ears.

Rey was sobbing in rapture as he hit the right angle. He wondered if she was even capable of being quiet, though the volume of her wails made him smug. Kylo was fairly certain that no other man could draw such sounds from her.

“Oh, _Kylo,”_ she called into the hollow of his throat, _“please!”_

Though he could feel that tell-tale shiver down his spine, the tightening that nearly drove him to animalistic howls, Kylo was nothing but determined. His jaw set as he rut into her with bruising impacts. She made no complaints.

“Yes--”

He thrust again, shutting his eyes against the coiling urge to come.

“Oh, _yes--”_

Kylo dropped a hand between her thighs, rubbing frantically--

She tensed, head tilting back, mouth falling open in a muted scream as her slick heat clenched impossibly tight around his cock, her hips jerking as a second climax ripped her in two. A moment later, tears pricking in her eyes, she burst wetly around him, hot fluid seeping into his pants.

 _“Fuck,_ Rey,” he snarled. It was more than he could bear.

Kylo gripped her waist, yanking her down onto him as he jolted upwards a final time, his head falling against her shoulder. He ground his hips as he spurt into her, as deeply inside her as he could possibly reach. Surge after surge of his spend coursed into her, until Kylo felt nearly lightheaded.

She shifted uncomfortably when he slid out, twitching at the sudden emptiness of her sex, and when he saw a white dribble weeping from her reddened cunt, he didn’t deny his desire to spread it into the soft suppleness of her inner thighs.

Rey craned up to kiss him as he did as much, exhaling with a shaky sigh as he eased her onto her feet once more.

“That was...more wet than usual,” she mumbled.

Kylo nuzzled her ear to hide his grin. She had made a glorious, gushing mess and he couldn’t have been more pleased.

“Are you embarrassed?”

She scoffed, glancing to the side when he lifted his head. “I would have to care in order to be embarrassed.”

Of course. Kylo snorted. He wanted to know if he could do that to her again.

“Until next time, then?”

She hummed as if she was already looking forward to the occasion. “We’ll see.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is what Rey's dress looks like, if you're into knowing that kind of stuff:  
> 


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can't stop. Won't stop. Have some garbage.

Explaining how she had failed her mission to General Organa while avoiding the truth--that she had been getting fucked by the woman’s evil son--was nearly impossible. The General undoubtedly suspected something in the wake of her debriefing, but she certainly didn’t raise her questions with Rey. Though she didn’t know what sort of consequences there would be for fraternizing with the enemy, Rey was starting to learn that whatever she had with Kylo wasn’t going to fade anytime soon. She didn’t have the restraint to stop.

It was fortunate, she supposed, that Finn had been too frightened by her display on the _Falcon_ to rat her out. He was kind and thoughtful and he kept her at an arm's length. This was the sort of friendship she had grown accustomed to on Jakku, so she refused to let it get to her.

Kylo was a more concerning issue. However much she wished she could deny it, he wasn’t the only guilty party. Rey was just as drawn to him and while she could ignore the dire longing the permeated her every waking moment, seeing him in person was another matter entirely. She lost all control of herself in his presence, not even a roughly constructed wall of anger could protect her from the overwhelming desire she felt for him.

She almost wondered why she bothered to fight it. She wondered why she fought at all.

More than once, she entertained the fantasy of disappearing with Kylo, of going somewhere they wouldn’t be recognized, of...of...Rey wasn’t certain there was anything he was interested in beyond sexual gratification, though he’d made his possessiveness fairly clear. She was thankful that logic prevailed in moments like these before she got the chance to play the girlish fool by hoping for something more than the occasional good fuck.

The kind of good fuck she could use, Rey thought, glaring at the wall, propped onto her side on the narrow bed in her on-base quarters.

She was on edge but the sole solution was off maker-knows-where, likely terrorizing the masses.

It begged the question: _why_ _him,_ of all people? The attraction was all-encompassing and relentless, something that swept her away and left her feeling guilty and numb as soon as she was alone once more. Despite the remorse, she wanted him, always.

Rey flopped onto her back, about ready to give into the urge to bury her own fingers between her thighs and search for the awe-provoking pleasure he provided with ease. Her hand was creeping towards her sleep pants when she stilled, stunned by the presence that had so suddenly enveloped her.

Kylo Ren was _here_. On a Resistance base. An attack?

No, she realized. There were no shrieking engines overhead or the marching of boots, a war machine generations in the making.

She threw back her comforter, legs kicking out to find the floor. Rey didn’t bother with her boots but instantly bolted for the door instead, wildly wondering what he thought he was doing.

Surely he realized the danger of being caught. They would both be ruined.

Perhaps he didn’t care what the consequences were. He certainly hadn’t when he had pried her away from General Hux at the gala. Rey didn’t take the time to ponder too long, dashing barefoot through darkened halls and all but _flying_ through the hangar to reach the woods beyond.

Kylo was less than ten yards from the tarmac. His mask was absent, his clothing, while still dark, was less corpulent in layers. A smug grin tugged at the corners of his lips as he took her in, flushed and frantic and scarcely dressed, and Rey recognized _this_ for what it was.

A booty call.

Fury crawled up her throat. “Are you actually insane?”

His smirk was full-blown. “Undoubtedly.”

Kylo pushed away from the gnarled tree trunk he had been leaning against, crossing the space between them with measured grace.

“It’s as if you’re looking for trouble,” she sneered, even as his face was dipping to meet hers.

He didn’t pause or hesitate or even wonder what she wanted, mostly because he already _knew,_ before slipping a hand into her sleep pants to cup the mound of her sex. Kylo wasn’t wearing gloves and the skin-on-skin contact was divine, even in the hushed moments before his finger slid between her folds.

“It seems I’ve found it,” he rumbled, retrieving his fingers to butter his tongue with her taste. “Has someone been thinking about me?”

_“No,”_ she growled, not willing to give him the satisfaction of knowing that she had been doing just that--thinking about Kylo Ren and how badly she needed him to bend her over and rip the screams from her throat.

While his lips had been pressing along the edge of her jaw, they parted now in a wordless snarl, then closed with teeth around her earlobe.

“I’m not in the mood for your teasing, Rey,” he seethed, gripping her shoulders as he swiftly spun her, promptly shoving her into the abrasive bark of a tree. “I haven’t had you in _weeks.”_

His voice cracked on the final word, giving away his desperation. It mirrored her own and the reminder of this flared liquid heat in her belly. His palms remained curled around her as they slid down her arms until he reached her hips, where they finally came to rest around with a firm, uncompromising grip.

Rey winced at the way his fingertips dug into her pelvis, squeezing tightly enough to leave a possessive chain of purple hued bruises. Her cheek was scraping against tree bark with every nip of his teeth along her neck and jaw, free hair catching on small, wooden ridges and cracks. He tilted her hips to press his prominent arousal into the round of her backside and rock shallow thrusts against her thin pants.

Kylo grunted into the shell of her ear, nuzzling her hair as his grinding hips jerked faster. She gasped as long fingers reached below her waistband a second time, two digits honing in on her clit with single-minded determination. He was so frustrated that his mind had become clouded with lust and all that mattered was getting off quickly.

Rey almost lets him when he latched his mouth to the side of her neck and gave a brutal suck, her own hips instinctively undulating into him. Her pussy clenched, demanding more than a hurried climax provided by nimble fingers.

She twisted against him, panting faintly as she looked him in the eye from over her shoulder. He was utterly debauched, full lips parted as he sought release with the impatience of a beast in rut. How was she supposed to be concerned about being caught with him when he looked at her with such gluttonous hunger?

They had the frenzied need of animals and as he growled a dark, rumbling noise deep in his chest, Rey wanted nothing more than to be _fucked_ like an animal.

“Get off me,” she said. Something in her tone made him pause, his cock twitching against her bottom.

There was no disguising the shiver that ran through him. “Excuse me?”

Rey smirked, eyes narrowing. “You heard what I said.”

He moved away minimally, offering her just enough space to turn about. Kylo was prepared to pounce the moment she was facing him but she held him in place with a glare. _No_. She was going to have this her way.

Kylo swallowed, his Adam's apple bobbing noticeably. This odd shift in control was unexpected but he licked his lips with anticipation, ready to humor her, regardless of what that entailed.

Rey hooked her fingers into his belt loops to tug him closer, then went for the buckle. She was thankful it was just the belt, trousers, and simple shirt to deal with, rather than the more customary robes. They offered easy access, which had undoubtedly been the reason he’d worn it. Otherwise, she wasn’t convinced he would have dressed so...so much like _Han_.

He looked just how Rey imagined a young, roguish Han Solo would have, complete with soulful eyes and lush, dark hair.

His trousers didn’t fall immediately after his belt was loosened, the material clinging to muscular thighs. She was slow to pull them down and slower still as she worked through the buttons of his equally tight shirt. There was a darkened spot on his tented briefs, precum soaking into the cotton where the tip of his cock jutted.

For a few seconds, she stood motionless, just to see the pleading stare that said it all. He wanted her to tear down his briefs to release his erection.

Rey shook her head. _Not yet._

She ordered him with an authority he couldn’t contend with, “Lay out your shirt.”

He stooped to grab the garment from the ground, shaking it out into the air before allowing it to settle on the dirt, eager to meet her demands.

Rey paused again, drawing out his discomfort. She swatted his hand away when he grew impatient and decided to undress her without permission.

“Do as I say,” she reprimanded. “Take two steps back.”

Kylo grit his teeth, his brown eyes flashing with a warning--this had better pay off. Rey grinned, placing a whimsical kiss to his cheek and then tugging at the drawstring of her sleep pants, which promptly slid from her hips to pool at her bare feet. His gaze dropped with them, halting at her sex.

“Not yet,” she chided, lifting a thin tank over her head and then leaning back against the tree, legs spread just enough for her to part her lower lips to his heated stare.

His hands curled into fists at his side as he watched her slow moving finger drag through the slick of her folds, his nostrils wide. He was being so good, she nearly praised him aloud. There was a wet squelch when Rey pumped two fingers into herself under his ravenous scrutiny.

“On your knees,” she murmured, pulling her digits away to show the glisten of her arousal.

He collapsed to kneel before her, his expression wild with yearning. Rey brushed her slick fingers over the swell of his bottom lip, coating it before dipping her fingers into his mouth. His eyes drooped, a hum bursting from his chest as he sucked enthusiastically, tongue swiping to drive her two fingers apart, flicking to tease the stretch of delicate skin between them.

Kylo chased her with a snarl as she retrieved her hand.

“Don’t move,” Rey said, turning away from him. Though she could no longer see his face, she could feel the physical weight of his gaze as it climbed up and then down the column of her spine.

She stooped to her knees then bent forward to rest her weight on her forearms, burying her face into the collar of his shirt. Gradually, Rey arched her back, her knees far apart and her backside canted to display her swollen, pink slit.

Rey sighed, one side of her face resting on the ground to allow her to look towards him. “You may take those off now,” she indicated his briefs with a short nod.

He yanked the offending material down, his length springing towards his navel. Rey hissed the moment he wrapped a hand around himself to find some much-needed pressure.

“Kylo, no.”

This was torture to him, she could sense he was close to cracking.

Finally, she rewarded him, reaching a hand between her legs to grip his cock, swaying back as she guided him in. Exhaling as she adjusted to his girth, Rey shut her eyes.

_“Now.”_

That was all she needed to say. In an instant, his hands were at her hips once more, pushing her off and then plunging back into her cunt with a rough jerk. She moaned, sliding across his shirt with the force of his thrust.

“You,” he snarled, “are a tease,” punctuating each word with the snap of his hips.

She laughed in response, perhaps a little too pleased with herself. He retaliated swiftly, covering her back with his broad chest, teeth clamping down on the meat of her shoulder, persistent as he pounded into her.

“Yes,” she uttered, it was exactly how she needed him. Rey felt a bit like a creature in heat and Kylo fucked like an animal, his pace so rapid it was as if she was constantly full and stretched by his cock. Her eyelashes fluttered with every slap of his balls, gasps and groans tumbling from her lips.

The angle was perfect, allowing him to glide deeper inside than what she was used to, the head of his cock tapping against her cervix while each roll of his hips rubbed against her g-spot. It was more than what Rey was prepared for, fire coursing through her relentlessly as she keened and panted.

_“Oh,”_ Rey cried, “oh, Maker--”

Kylo gyrated his pelvis to jostle her in just the right way, a ripple of blazing pleasure causing tears to prick in the corner of her eyes. Already, he had her tipping over the edge.

“Fuck,” he moaned. “Fuck, Rey, you’re so tight when you come.”

He didn’t stop, surging through her first orgasm and continuing to brush against her cervix. Her reprieve seemed to last only a minute, another coiling wave of bliss sloshing over her with decadent brutality. She sobbed, gulping for air as her cunt throbbed around him, clenching to keep him seated fully within her.

There was no keeping him still. Kylo fucked her until she could do nothing but scream, hot tears seeping into his shirt, her nails clawing into the damp earth. It was overwhelming, her entire body twitching with sensation, tensing in an attempt to draw out his release. He had been close, even before entering her.

Kylo twisted her around suddenly, turning Rey onto her back and aiming the tip of his cock at her breasts. He finished with a grunt, hot ribbons of viscous white spattered across her chest and face and dribbling on her belly.

Still panting, sated and thrumming, Rey darted her tongue out to gather the fleck of come that had smeared over the corner of her mouth.

When he ducked forward, it was to capture her lips in a frantic kiss. It was sloppy and thoughtless, his tongue rolling against hers in aimless swipes. Rey combed his hair with trembling fingers, an unexpected desire panging in her chest. It wasn’t necessarily a longing for more.

She shuddered at the realization that she just wanted him there, in her arms, chests heaving in tandem as they came down from their joint high, his lips nipping as he secretly smiled. He smeared his sticky seed into her nipple with the pad of his thumb, entirely too satisfied with himself.

“Don’t be afraid,” he whispered into the crook of her throat. “I feel it too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WELL, THERE'S THAT.
> 
> Thank you for the astounding feedback I've gotten for this fic. :) It makes writing it so much more fun.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> trash...with something that's almost plot.

 

 When warm excitement bubbled in his chest, Kylo had a difficult time identifying the emotion. It wasn’t happiness or nervousness, though he certainly felt both, but a strange hybrid that made his bones feel airy and insubstantial. He was _floating_.

He didn’t have the heart to analyze too deeply on what he felt, not when he was so _close_ to her. Kylo had managed to step onto Resistence territory without being caught and perhaps he was tempting fate by repeating an appearance, but it was well worth the risk. The current base was on an unnamed arboreal moon in tight orbit around a gaseous giant, thick with evergreens and well beyond the First Order’s notice.

The security was still shockingly lax; he managed to creep his way out of the woods he had landed in and across the main hanger without seeing anyone. Kylo clung to the shadows as he stalked the passageways that led to her peaceful presence, the lighting low in the late night to provide only for a skeleton crew.

She didn’t move when he reached her quarters, though he could sense her within, and he realized why once he cracked open her door and snuck inside. Rey was curled in on herself, sleeping on her side with her back to him. The room was relatively cool but her sheets were caught beneath her resting form.

Rey didn’t immediately wake as he entered and Kylo nearly forgot his plan, tempted to wrap himself around her body to lend his heat. She huffed, turning over as she dreamed. When Rey whispered his name as she continued to slumber, he was reminded of his purpose, a different brand of heat surging in his limbs.

He crouched over her bunk, brushing a slow kiss on her parted lips. Eyelashes fluttered as she stirred, small hands reaching in the dark to make sense of his sweeping mouth. She hummed, sleepy as she returned his kiss.

“You’re the most idiotic man I’ve ever known,” she mumbled, nuzzling his hair as she pulled him down with lazy tugs.  
Rey was supine under him, sighing as his weight settled on her.

Kylo barked a laugh. _Giddiness,_ he realized. That was the emotion he hadn’t been able to label. The thought passed more quickly than it should have, her wet tongue flicking against his ear with maddening swipes.

“You’re going to get caught if you keep coming here,” she warned, drawing his earlobe into her hot mouth with the sting of teeth.

The softness of a bed was tantalizing enough to distract him for a moment; Kylo wanted to eat his way down her body until she sobbed his name for the entire base to hear but even he was rational enough to recognize the danger of remaining in her quarters for any amount of time.

He nipped at her chest through the threadbare material of her shirt, then lifted his face away with a smirk. “I suppose we’ll just have to go somewhere else, then.”

Her breath caught in her throat, eyes going wide at his suggestion. “Kylo--”

He saw her refusal, could taste her argument in the air between them and didn’t allow her the chance to talk him out of it.

“It would be just you and me for miles,” he whispered, dipping his mouth forward again. “No one would ever know and you’ll be back before daybreak.”

She chewed on her lower lip, considering him. “You already have a place in mind.”

That was an answer in itself. He soothed her abused lip with the press of his tongue.

“It’s somewhere warm,” he promised, smiling in the dark when she gave in, a dainty hand moving over the round of his backside to squeeze tentatively.

 

* * *

 

Rey had watched as they made their landing from the cockpit and was already kicking off her boots and tearing at her clothes as she descended the on-ramp of his shuttle. She jogged barefoot across the sand, grinning with innocent delight as the salty air filtered through her hair.

It was warm, though the sea prevented it from being truly _hot,_ as Jakku was. Scarif was long abandoned, its vast Imperial library plundered before he had even been a thought. Now there were only ruins and an overgrowth of tropical plant life, making it an ideal getaway.

Kylo trudged after her nimble footsteps in the sand, smiling to himself as Rey dipped her toes into the ocean with novel excitement. As he had presumed, she had never seen any sea beside the gray, choppy waters that surrounded the island on Ahch-To. She stood comfortably naked on the shoreline, breathless as she faced the seemingly endless blue horizon. Another new emotion welled in him, one he flat-out refused to investigate.

“This place…” she whispered when he grazed a palm up the curve of her spine, “it’s gorgeous. Thank you.”

He mouthed at her throat, tongue darting out to taste her skin, bending over her from behind. She hummed, hand reaching up into his hair to hold his lips in place.

“Join me,” she mumbled, tilting into his chest, neck arched to meet the heat of his gaze.

Kylo ducked to kiss her, only for Rey to gently pry herself out of his hold.

She spun around, tan skin glowing in the sunlight that bounced off her shoulders and chest. His breath caught at the sight of her, glorious and naked for him.

Her playful smile was teasing. “In the _water,_ Kylo. Are you planning to undress at any point in the next millennia?”

Rey walked backward into the breaking waves, seafoam lapping at her calves and splashing to her knees as each step took her further into the surf. She stopped only as the water licked at her thighs, expectancy clear in her expression. If what Rey wanted was to play, he was more than happy to oblige.

He had foregone the thick robes once more, having learned his lesson. Clothing had the tendency of getting in the way and when he was with Rey, that was the last inconvenience he needed.

Kylo tugged his shirt over his head and shucked his boots, dropping his trousers and briefs to follow her into the sea. She flashed him a toothy grin and ran along the sandy floor, her strides slowed as she kicked her unpracticed legs through the water. Rey was a child of the desert. This great seascape was unfamiliar to _her_ but to Kylo, the distance between where she churned through the water and the shoreline was easily crossed.

He sloshed through the shallows, tearing through low waves to make chase. When the water was deep enough, he shot Rey a sly smirk and dove under the surface. In the matter of a few seconds, he sliced through the water towards her, arms sliding forward and pulling him with sure strokes.

Rey sputtered with surprise when he rose to his feet to tower over her, saltwater glistening as it streamed down his body. Without any warning, Kylo bent over and curled his arms around her waist, squeezing her sides as he threw her over his shoulder and straightened his back.

Rey squealed, startled as she was lifted from the water completely. _“Kylo--!”_

Her yelp was cut short when he tossed her into the air and she plunged into the crystalline water. She emerged with a sharp jerk, sputtering and outraged and divine. Her hand slapped the water to furiously splash him.

“I can’t swim, you asshole,” she growled.

He pulled her close from underwater, hands spanning her backside to _squeeze_.

“Do you think I’m going to let you drown?” Kylo drawled.

The water was to her waist but he crowded her, forcing Rey to take furtive steps into the deeper water. He chuckled with a dark tone as she instinctively snaked her arms around his neck and lifted her legs from the sand to wrap her thighs around his hips, clinging to his towering figure for safety.

“Maybe,” she sneered back.

Kylo took them further out until the water reached his collar bone. He could feel her heart beating in her chest, fast and hard in either fear or arousal--Kylo couldn’t be entirely certain--but then her mouth was slotting against his and all other thought was pushed far from the front of his mind.

She tasted salty, her unique flavor of _Rey_ a soft undertone that left him craving.

Rey crushed herself into him, wet fingers trailing through his hair. He pressed his tongue into the wet heat of her mouth in response, sucking in her pleased gasps as her hips shifted. Her nipples were perked and flat against him, dragging slowly over the faint hairs on his chest as she heedlessly sought friction.

He cradled her waist, kisses tracing the curve of her cheek in a way that he realized was too delicate, even as he was doing it.

Kylo didn’t care. She was his, all _his_.

“Yes,” she breathed into his ear, echoing his thoughts, “I’m only yours.”

Rey pulled away slightly and they stared at each other, neither willing to face the consequences of what had just passed between them. They weren’t gentle, they gnashed their teeth and clawed at flesh and growled and spit like creatures of the night. He wasn’t supposed to feel clenching warmth in his chest at how her pink lips parted in a sigh, or how the sun caught in her hazel eyes, reflecting gold and verdant.

Trepidation tightened in his muscles. This wasn’t what he had wanted. As she so cruelly loved to point out, they were fighting on opposing sides of a galactic-wide war and he wouldn’t bend to the light for her, just as she refused to bow into darkness for him. He couldn’t, his mind supplied. Not after all he’s done to cement himself at his master’s side.

His _father_ , oh, he’s killed his own father.

Simultaneously, they came to the same conclusion. When their lips collided, there was no residual tenderness or care, but rather the intent to bruise. Her teeth scraped against the swell of his lower lip, incisors drawing blood. If the coppery, salt taste disgusted her, she didn’t show it, hissing as his fingertips pressed firmly into her hips and mouth unrelenting.

He needed to hear her voice go ragged with gulping screams, to see the torturous pleasure-pain gather tears in her eyes as he fucked her into a state of boneless submission. His blunt nails rasped the silky skin of her thighs. He hoped it stung.

Rey gasped as his hand squeezed between their bodies to prod at the her center. The saltwater washed away the slick of her arousal only moments after he smeared it into her clit but he didn’t lighten the pressure or even pause, continuing the brutal circles of his fingers that chafed her sensitive flesh. It hurt, she was shuddering and whining under his touch, but she accepted the pain with desperation, grinding against his palm.

It wasn’t enough. Not _nearly_.

“Beach,” she demanded with a moan, yanking at a handful of his hair hard enough to tear strands from his roots. “Now.”

He wordlessly snarled back at her in agreement, sloshing through short waves as he moved towards shore, warm water trickling down their bodies as they stumbled through the shallows. Kylo ached with how hard he was but she didn’t touch him, ignoring the stiff heat of his cock as he rubbed it into her belly.

It was both refreshing and familiar when she shoved him against the hot, sun-baked sand. He grunted, landing on his tailbone, but Rey forced him onto his back. His skin was still damp and it caused the grit of sand to stick; with bitter amusement, Kylo wondered if this was retaliation for the day they met.

Her breasts jounced at the violent way she dropped into his lap. He watched them jiggle, his mouth watering, recalling how they’d looked covered in his come.

Rey sneered down at him, rolling her hips once, slipping over the underside of his length but settling her weight on his navel so that her backside tapped the head of his cock with every slow, wet rock. She was coating his bellybutton with slippery moisture, spreading herself into his abdominals.

Irritated, he bared his teeth at her. Kylo meant to flip their positions, to torment her with teasing touches but not allow her to find any satisfaction. Instead, a small hand wrapped around his throat.

She didn’t cut off his air supply but the slight compression of her fingers stilled him.

“Don’t move,” she warned, eyes narrowed at him. “Move even a finger and I’ll stop.”

She wasn’t to be taken lightly, that much was clear.

Pleased by his frozen form and pursed lips, she withdrew the hand from his neck, gliding down his body to kneel between his legs. She licked her lips, tongue slowly dragging over the swelling, bruising flesh. Kylo sucked in sharply, propping himself onto his elbows as she started to duck towards his throbbing cock, only for her to slap a palm to his chest and force him back down.

“What did I just say?” she whispered, voice gaining a dangerous edge.

Kylo shivered. He wasn’t sure if it was the thought of her pretty, little mouth wrapped around him or her tone.

“You’re not going to let me watch?” he asked back, incredulous.

She didn’t answer, repeating, “What did I say, Kylo?”

He growled. “Don’t move.”

The minx. She’d pay for teasing him like this. He was about to tell her as much when the hot, wet flash of her tongue flicked against the sensitive slit at his head.

“I’m not giving you a second chance,” she promised, though he could hear her grin. She was enjoying this game.

Her nails scratched his stomach as they trailed through the coarse hairs that led down. Without another word, she plunged onto him, taking him deep into her mouth.

_Fuck_.

He must have said this aloud because she snickered with her lips pulled tight around his girth, little puffs of breath tickling his pubic hairs as she exhaled through her nostrils. He could feel when she hollowed her cheeks but wished he could look at her as she did it.

Her hair was falling into his lap, clinging to his skin, frustration bubbled in his gut at the thought that he should be holding it out of the way, guiding her up and down with steady swallows. There was only the sky above and the heat of her tongue, and he closed his eyes, eyebrows knit together.

He jolted slightly when warm fingers closed around the base of his cock, where she couldn’t quite reach without gagging, but she was forgiving enough to continue, creating an indecent slurping noise that was sure to drive Kylo mad.

It was nearly impossible to not thrust, each squeeze of her hand and slip of her tongue bringing him closer to orgasm. He knew that it would all end if even fluctuated slightly and that was the only thing that kept him in place.

He babbled what could very well be utter nonsense, at least certain that she wouldn’t stop for that. His balls started to tighten, his legs shaking as he panted. He was so close--

Rey released him with the smack of her reddened lips.

Kylo couldn’t help the high-pitched keen that burst from his chest.

She laughed, infinitely pleased with her hard work. He hardly found it amusing.

Rey yelped when he promptly sat to throw her back. Kylo tilted her hips and entered her cunt with a swift jerk. She still huffed her laughter as he pounded into her with selfish slams, heaving to meet him.

“New rules,” he barked, setting a back-breaking rhythm--the sort that sent her into delirious screams. “Make a single sound and I won’t let you come.”

Her responding groan, accompanied by a slick clench around his cock, was quickly punished with a slap to her thigh. The look she shot him said it all: _this isn’t fair._

“No,” he agreed, “it’s not fair.”

Kylo didn’t care. She squirmed, their hips snapping with each joining, but Rey kept silent, even as her mouth fell open. Her mute wail had her back arching. Smirking, he closed his teeth around a breast to suckle the delicate, pliant flesh.

Already, she was fluttering around him. The squeezing sensation threw the air from his lungs. He had been on the very edge of coming before and now it was too much.

“Stick out your tongue,” he grunted, pulling himself out.

She did as she was told but the first spray of sticky white dribbled on her chin before he could press the tip of his cock against that velvet, pink appendage. Rey chased the second burst of come, gathering it in her mouth. Kylo swore his vision was blinded as his climax crashed through him, her tongue flat against him as he continued to spurt.

There was a drop of come at the corner of her mouth, turning her smirk filthy.

“So good,” he mumbled, kissing her to taste his own saltiness. “So, so good.”

He pressed three fingers into her folds, curling them roughly with each stroke.

“You’re allowed to say my name,” he said, rewarding her as his thumb kneaded at her clit.

There were tears in her eyes from pained restraint but now his name erupted from her lips.

“Oh, Kylo, _Kylo, Kylo--”_

She repeated it helplessly, finally clamping around his broad digits. Rey sobbed his name as she crashed, hips rocking without finesse. She was absolutely stunning. He pumped his fingers through it, drawing out her orgasm until all she really could do was shriek.

She clung to him after, nose bumping against his as they both grinned stupidly, sated and elated all at once.

Was it so wrong, that he never wanted to leave her arms?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All I can do is thank everyone for the amazing feedback I've gotten on this fic! It has been so much fun to write! ;)


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ACK! Is that angst I see?

Tatooine was not at all what Rey had expected. It was not just a ball of hot sand, as Jakku had been, but it was a far cry from civilized. Luke Skywalker had, with no small amount of amusement, described Mos Eisley Spaceport as a hive of scum and villainy. It was an apt description but Rey felt oddly at home.

Mos Eisley was much more developed than Niima Outpost had ever been, but the heat of the binary suns was an old friend, the trickle of sweat down her back familiar. Peoples of the desert had a certain steadiness to them, a heartiness that wasn’t found elsewhere, so far as Rey could tell.

Finn had insisted that so long as they were there and had a bit of free time, they might as well drop into the local cantina for a drink. He was not nearly as prepared for the desert heat but Rey could hardly fault him for it. They hadn’t spoken about Kylo Ren but some of the tension between them had eased, once Finn realized she was firmly set on her decision to stay with the Resistance, despite her poor choice in partners.

This mission together had helped warm him to her again and Rey had hoped they would be able to return to that happy friendship they had started with, a year ago now.

This hope was effectively dashed, the moment they stepped out of the sun and into the cantina to find Kylo at the bar, nursing a Corellian ale. The instant she saw him, Rey knew his being there had nothing to do with her.

He looked ragged, shirt wrinkled and hair in an absolute flurry, a light stubble darkening his chin and jaw.

She was certain Kylo could sense her the moment she walked in but he continued to stare fastidiously into the fading foam of his ale, expression blank. Unexpected emotion twisted in her chest at his sad state.

Finn froze beside her, a hand gripping her arm at seeing their enemy. “You _didn’t--”_

Rey shook her head. “I didn’t tell him I would be here. This is just a coincidence.”

She rolled her shoulder to release his hold and approach Kylo.

“Rey,” he called after her, a warning edge to his tone. “Leave him be. We’ll go somewhere else.”

She already knew she couldn’t do that. Not after seeing him slumped over and so unlike the man she thought she knew. Something was wrong and she couldn’t ignore the worry that churned in her belly.

“Go,” she murmured, looking over her shoulder sadly. “I can’t leave him like this.”

Finn stiffened, back straight. His gaze narrowed in quiet anger but he did nothing to stop her from sliding into the seat beside Kylo.

Rey ordered an ale for herself.

Kylo still wouldn’t look at her. “I can’t do this right now.”

His voice was hoarse from disuse. How long had he been here? It was difficult to imagine a reason he would be on Tatooine at all, not if he didn’t have to be. He wasn’t in uniform so clearly, his purpose had nothing to do with the First Order.

“I’m not looking for a quick fuck,” she replied, placing a palm on his bicep. “I just--”

“What?” he sneered. “Want to be sure I’m up for it later, then?”

Was he trying to instigate a fight? Hurt she shouldn’t have felt twinged in her chest. Rey had always known he wasn’t a _good_ man. She must have misunderstood what she meant to him, what he was supposed to mean to her.

Rey clenched her teeth. Well, she wouldn’t make that mistake again.

“I was worried,” she hissed under her breath. The barman set down a tall glass of ale and she threw it back, gulping down the chilled, bitter drink to slam it down on the counter with a resounding _clink._ “Clearly I shouldn’t have been.”

His jaw tightened. “Rey--”

“No, you’re right,” she interrupted, tossing down a few credits. “This has never been anything more than sex. It was stupid of me to think otherwise. I won’t forget again.”

“Rey,” he repeated, harshly now. “Don’t--”

“It’s fine,” she insisted. Excuses weren’t necessary. She didn’t particularly want to hear whatever explanation he had. “I should have realized that my pussy was the only part of me that mattered.”

Perhaps that was going too far, however true it was.

He wouldn’t even look at her.

That stung more than anything else. Rey felt more foolish by the second. She didn’t have to stand for this kind of treatment. If he had nothing more to say, she didn’t either.

She was already stepping away, hoping Finn was close enough for her to catch up to him so they could get off this miserable rock, when a large hand darted out, long, warm fingers folding around her wrist.

He was quiet for a moment more, still staring into the distance.

Finally, he croaked, “My father died one standard year ago today.”

Rey exhaled slowly, allowing him to pull her close. She pursed her lips, sympathy and confusion at war within her. It took all her willpower to not sweep his hair aside to kiss his temple.

She could only say, “Kylo...you were the one that killed him.”

Another pause.

“I regretted it the moment I activated my lightsaber. Before that, even. I will regret it until the day I die.”

Rey wondered if the twisting knife in her chest was heartbreak.

“Oh, _Kylo.”_

His fingers squeezed tighter, enough to make her wince, before releasing her wrist. Finally, he pulled his eyes up from the bar counter and his warming ale to glance towards her. His gaze was unfocused and watery, sheening with tears he refused to spill.

“Just for today,” he whispered, “could you call me Ben?”

_Ben._

That was what Han had called him. To the end, he had refused to call his son by any name but the one he’d given him.

Rey became suddenly aware of how little she knew about him. Most of her thoughts about Kylo had nothing to do with his parentage and how he had fallen into darkness. She felt embarrassed for not asking, especially now that she could see clearly how perturbed he was by his past. It was easy to forget there was more to the man than his filthy tongue and teasing fingers, silken hair and firm muscles when that was all he showed her.

The fact he was allowing her to see this much of him _now_ meant something. Rey nearly didn’t want to know what.

“Okay,” she answered, “Ben.”

It sounded so _right._

He shuddered, gulping.

“What are you doing here, of all places?” she asked, scooting a stool closer to him and seating herself, their thighs pressed together.

“If my father had never decided to come to this cantina, he wouldn’t have been hired by Obi-Wan Kenobi and he would have never met my mother. She would have died at the hands of the Empire and he would have spent his life smuggling without a care. I would never have been born and I certainly wouldn’t have killed him.”

She struggled to find the words to say. “Do you wish that was what happened?”

He looked at her without seeing. “Sometimes.”

Rey had no response. All she could do was slip an arm around his waist and offer comfort. His head fell to her shoulder, curls tickling her nose when she turned her neck. He breathed deeply, taking in the scent of her skin.

“I’d miss you if you’d never been born,” she confessed.

He shook her head. “You wouldn’t have even known.”

“I _would,”_ Rey insisted, brushing back his hair. “I always felt like something was missing before I met you.”

Kylo snorted. “Of course you did, you were on Jakku. It wasn’t me you were missing.”

“Don’t argue with me,” she grumbled. “It was you.”

She couldn’t quite explain the pull she felt, but of this, she could be certain. She and Kylo had been destined to meet, one way or another. Even if she hadn’t sold that BB unit, Rey would have still met Finn. They would have stolen the Millennium Falcon together and Kylo would have chased the droid to find her.

Rey had always despised the notion of fate--she was in control of her own life, as far as she was concerned--but when it came to Kylo, she was sure. Nothing could have prevented them from coming together.

Her voice was soft. “Ben--”

“--Do you want to get out of here?” he asked for her.

“Yeah.”

* * *

His ship was docked in bay twenty-two, its sharp, angular wings pointed skyward. Though this was not the first time she’s seen the shuttle, Rey had to admire its sleek design. It was made to intimidate; clearly inspired by Imperial crafts.

She has been in the cockpit and even the luxurious, leather-clad lounge, where she could imagine Kylo skulking while someone else piloted. This time, however, he guided her to tight quarters. There was little more than a narrow bunk and a few storage units, and a second door for a closet-sized ‘fresher.

When he tugged her towards the bunk, she knew he wasn’t interested in anything beyond the comfort of physical contact and Rey was willing to give him that much--more if he had wanted it. She lay on her side, facing the bulkhead, knees pulled towards her chest and he settled in behind her, arm resting in the dip of her narrow waist and the tops of his thighs against the back of hers.

Kylo was a furnace, even his breath warm as it puffed against the crown of her head, but she made no complaint, letting him hold her tight. He was trembling, arms clenching as a silent sob rattled in his chest.

He wouldn’t let her turn to face him, unwilling to show his shame, and she placed her hand on his instead, thumb stroking the peaks of his knuckles.

“I’m here, Ben,” she mumbled.

He remained silent as he reached to free her hair.

“You are,” he croaked in response, sniffing as he burrowed his face into loose hair, lips finding the sensitive spot at the nape of her neck. “I can’t figure out how you always are, but you _are.”_

Kylo pulled her even closer, his open mouth hot on the back of her neck as he sucked wet marks on her skin.

“I’m not stupid,” he continued in a whisper, “I _know_ it has only ever been physical but--”

Rey hushed him, craning her neck to meet his gaze. “But it isn’t,” she breathed, “I know. I can feel it too.”

There was that untouchable, undefinable _thing_ between them. An emotion akin to awe--or was it adoration?--morphed his face, making him look even younger and boyish than he already did. He was so oddly beautiful and this thought twisted knots in her belly. Rey wanted to tilt up to kiss him but already knew that wasn’t what he wanted, not this time.

His voice was raw when he spoke again. “You’re so small,” his arms flexed around her, “and perfect and good, I don’t deserve to even look at you. I’m going to end up breaking you and I don’t want that.”

“I’m not some fragile, perfect thing,” Rey muttered. “I’m not made of glass.”

For a moment, he stared at her. Then his gaze dropped to her mouth. He blinked, thoughtful as he considered her parted lips, before the hand that had been splayed possessively over her stomach dipped lower. Nimble fingers popped the button of her trousers and tugged the zipper down, loosening the material enough to sneak his large hand in.

Kylo cupped the mound of her sex, drawing a low sound from her throat as he gently rubbed her through the soft cotton of her under-things.

“You don’t have to do anything,” she told him, even as his broad fingers stroked the seam of her lower lips.

He kissed the shell of her ear. “I changed my mind. I like seeing what I do to you.” Though Kylo didn’t voice the words, she sensed what was left unsaid echoed in the small space between their mouths, _I’m good with you._

It was a soft feeling that washed over her, all for him. It wasn’t right, Rey knew that, but it swelled in her chest, pricking tears in the corners of her eyes.

“Ben,” she started, only for his mouth to descend and effectively silence her.

He shucked her pants with sedate motions, refusing to be rushed as he bared her lower half. Kylo paused their kiss for a second, slipping his finger into his own mouth to cover it with saliva, then returning it to the junction of her thighs to prod at the raised flesh of her clit.

Rey shifted her hips, parting her thighs further for him, bending her knee to press her foot flat to the bunk. She sighed into his mouth, a dizzying, calm haze settling into her bones with each sure pass of his tongue. His hardness was evident against her backside but he made no indication that he was going to take care of himself. She ground herself into him, a taunting reminder of his own arousal, nipping at his lower lip. His stubble was rough against her but she didn’t care.

It was so different than any time they’ve been together before. His touch was far from tentative but there was not frantic _need,_ just a slow-building fire that heated her core and made her tingle. The digit that circled her clit so diligently slipped lower, gliding into her cunt with ease. Kylo curled his finger into her then retreated altogether, shifting down his own trousers to jut free.

It was so _easy,_ the way he continued to kiss her, the way his cock slid home to fill her, the way they slowly rocked together. Her breath hitched, her eyes fluttering shut.

When she came, it was with a shuddering cry. He followed shortly after, snapping his hips as she clenched around him, growling as his spend surging into her with hot jolts. Kylo stayed nestled between her thighs, even as the thick white of his come spilled from her swollen folds and his length softened.

Kylo had been seeking connection, not pleasure. His arms curled around her again, nudging at her neck with his nose.

“I wish we could run away,” he admitted, “go somewhere no one would recognize us, or even know the name Kylo Ren.”

 _Let’s,_ she almost said. Instead, she told him, “Me too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the amazing feedback!


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please note the recent addition to my tags.

Amongst the battle cries and blaster shots and crumbling ruins, Kylo sensed her. How could he not? She was like a beacon of light, bright and good, everything he wasn’t. Red-hot fury sparked in the chest at the knowledge that he didn’t deserve to touch her or even look in her direction. Greedy, selfish thing that he was, Kylo wouldn’t let this stop him.

He had been serious in their last meeting that he wanted to run away, as irresponsible and reckless as it was. Kylo was certain that if she had said the words, he would have. He would have sold his ship that very day and bought something inconspicuous and functional. He would have taken her somewhere bright and green and secluded, never looking back.

She hadn’t, though. He had been meek and said “I wish,” rather than be straightforward. Kylo should have told her to leave with him, no room for argument.

Rey would never abandon her fight, though. She still believed in the Resistance and in saving the galaxy from absolute rule. Kylo wished he could be as strong as she was.

A Resistance ground soldier aimed a shot at him and Kylo raised his blade on reflex alone, redirecting the beam of green light back at its sender. The soldier let out a short cry and fell, dead. If he had been a different man, Kylo would have felt something in response. Instead, he felt nothing at all, numbed by an endless war and meaningless death.

What was the point in fighting? This war had begun long before his birth and would not end in his lifetime. Strife would always exist.

He heard the sharp song of the Skywalker saber, his head whipping around to catch sight of her. Even through the view of his mask, she was glorious.

A small squad of stormtroopers had her surrounded but there was no hesitation. Rey sliced at everything within range, lightsaber flashing as it cut through plastoid armor and flesh alike. They all went down.

It felt wrong, to want to drag Rey from her righteous fight.

He glanced over his shoulder to his own Stormtrooper detail. “Regroup with squad fifteen and offer support.”

The captain to his right stood impossibly straighter. “Sir, our orders to accompany you were given directly by General Hux, we--”

Kylo had no patience to hear more. The Stormtrooper went down with a swift, spitting strike of his saber.

“Anyone else have a problem with the validity of my orders?” he snarled.

Fear rippled through the seven remaining men. The threat of death was always a useful motivator.

“No, Sir,” echoed as they answered together.

He nodded once, marginally satisfied. “Go.” _Before_ he changed his mind and killed them all.

When he looked for Rey in the foray again, she was staring at him, stunned.

She opened her mouth, ready to call to him, then promptly shut it, thinking better of the idea. As a compromise, he nudged at her mind, wordlessly directing her towards the nearby trees. Understanding flooded him and when she broke into a brisk run, he followed suit, meeting her halfway.

Rey tugged him down by the cowl, fingers clawing into the rich folds of black, bringing him low enough to dig into his hood and fiddle with the hatch on the back of his mask. It released with a faint hiss and once it was loose, she tore it away and chucked the mask onto the ground without a care.

“I _hate_ this,” she seethed into his lips, nipping and sucking to make flesh swell.

A gasp tore from his teeth. _Well_. If that was what she wanted, Kylo wasn’t going to deny her.

He straightened his back, lifting her from the ground and her thighs shifted to bracket his hips, her fingers already yanking at his hair. Kylo could taste her breath in the back of his throat and the frantic grind of her body urged a prompt reaction. The gentleness of their last meeting had no place here.

“I never wanted anything to do with the war,” Rey whispered, lips softening. “I want less to do with it now.”

What was she suggesting? Kylo knew he had already said they should disappear together but he had never thought such a reckless idea could become possible in reality. He wasn’t sure how it would work. Snoke had him in his clutches, long, knobby fingers tight about his throat. So long as he was a weapon worth using, Kylo would never get away.

“What are you trying to say?” he asked, tone low.

For a moment, she considered him. Her hair, half loose and spilling over her shoulders, clung to her damp skin, pink from both the exertion of battle and arousal. Rey licked her lips, thighs clenching his waist, leaning into his ear to breathe:

“Run away with me.”

Kylo turned his face to look her in the eye. She was serious. Of course, she was. Had she any idea how he would be hunted? No place was far enough from the First Order’s might, safety would be an illusion.

“Rey--”

“Ben, please.”

He shut his mouth, lips flattening into a sharp line. Rey softened his expression with a slow, pleading kiss.

“I don’t care about the First Order or the Resistance. If they want to continue on with this war, then let them. I’ve already given a year of my life to this, I don’t want to waste more of it for a meaningless cause.”

Did she mean that? Kylo could hardly believe the words that rushed past her lips, parted and pink as she faintly panted. She had always seemed so determined to fight--had made a point of reminding him where their allegiances stood. He never thought…

He breathed in slowly, arms tight around her slender body.

“What _do_ you care about, then?”

Rey stared at him, round eyes honest and cutting. Briefly, Kylo wanted to take the question back.

“You.”

Something deep within _snapped_. Hot panic bubbled in his stomach, his heart beating in his throat as his eyebrows shot upwards in shock.

In that moment, Kylo did something incredibly stupid. He silently agreed to leave with her, regardless of the danger he would be putting her in. Understanding spread across her features, a smile stretching her mouth. An alarming realization struck him; if she had asked him that question, he would have given the same answer.

“Okay,” he murmured, “I’ll go with you.”

  
Kylo wasn’t sure who tipped forward first. The collision of their mouths was violent and heated. Rey scraped with her teeth and slashed at him with her tongue, frantic to taste every corner of his mouth.

Another frightening notion: he more than cared for her.

Rey gasped, mouthing at his clavicle as her hips jerked. A startling need poured into his mind, the urge to tear open her pants and fuck her perfect, little cunt burst in his chest with an edge of desperation. Kylo let out a low sigh as his cock swelled against her clothed sex.

She tilted her head back, exposing the graceful length of her neck to him. “I need you inside me. _Now.”_

Kylo didn’t bother with a spoken response. He instantly lowered her to the ground, tugged her trousers down her thighs and bent her over with the press of his chest against her back.

“On your hands and knees,” he rumbled in her ear, roughly tearing down the zipper on his pants to pull himself out.

Rey stumbled to the ground, jutting her backside towards him. Possession swept through him; Kylo smoothed his palm over the round, peachy curve of her bottom before lifting it away to come down with a stinging slap. Her supple flesh jiggled, the soft skin flooding with red in the shape of his hand.

 _Mine,_ he realized. Rey was all his. She had always belonged to him, Kylo knew in the depths of his bones, but now she was just his. When they left, there would be no one but him to claim her attention.

And maybe he could be free to be all hers.

Kylo kneeled behind her, fisting himself as she arched her back with a frustrated huff. His free hand stroked along the cleft of her ass before dipping into her folds with a curl of two fingers. She was aroused but not nearly as slick as when he usually took her; Rey whimpered as he pumped his digits slowly, opening her to him with sure thrusts.

Impatient, she hissed at him. “Fuck me _now,_ or--”

So, she wanted it to hurt a little. He guided himself through her swelling lower lips, exhaling as he breached her with the head of his cock. With a blunt snap of his hips, he filled her.

An airy moan tumbled from her mouth.

She was impossibly tight, throbbing around his length with a velvet squeeze. He felt as if he might tear her apart as he jerked again, oxygen burning in his chest.

Kylo didn’t last long, not with the delicious way her hips rocked to meet his frantic pounding. He could see blushing marks where his fingertips dug into her skin, faint bruises forming as he gripped her with excessive force. Kylo couldn’t stop the tingling sensation at the base of his spine, didn’t even bother trying to slow himself as his balls constricted.

Rey flexed her muscles around him, drawing a roar from his belly as he fucked her through his climax, spilling hot and slick into her.

She winced as he slowly left her, a dribble of his come oozing from the apex of her thighs. Rey didn’t give him to time to watch it trickle along her silky skin, pulling up her pants while throwing a smirk over her shoulder as he caught his breath. His spew was soaking into the seam of her crotch, darkening the material. With gentle touches, she folded his cock back into his clothing, dragging his zipper up and then leaning in to brush her lips over the curve of his cheek.

She hadn’t orgasmed and guilt must have shown on his face because she whispered hotly into the shell of his ear, “Don’t worry, there are plenty of ways you can make it up to me.”

Clearly, she had something in mind. His cock twitched valiantly to no avail. Making it up to her would have to wait, though she seemed to be more than pleased regardless.

 

* * *

 

He could feel her elation, even from across the Resistance base. Kylo had spent the last ten minutes waiting while she searched for an appropriate vessel for them to steal in the midst of the battle chaos. Evidently, she had found something that fit the criteria.

The image of a small, unmarked cruiser flashed in his mind and while it was far from being a glamorous ship, it was ideal for their circumstances. His shuttle could be tracked too easily and a ship with Resistance insignia would raise questions. Apparently, this particular ship was used primarily for espionage.

Kylo walked out from the trees, abandoning his mask to the forest floor. He wouldn’t need it any longer and unexpected relief washed over him.

Who was he going to be now? Kylo had spent so much of his life being who he needed to be for his mother, then Skywalker, then Supreme Leader Snoke. He had never had the opportunity to just _be,_ with Rey, he suspected it was finally possible. There was no forgiving what he has done as master of the Knights of Ren, nor what he was about to do by running away.

Kylo didn’t care. Not even if he never saw his mother again. That was the consequence of leaving his life behind, though he doubted his mother would be too heartbroken over it. He would disappear and she would be allowed to forget him--he was both the man that had slain her husband and her disappointing son--it was for the best.

The familiar crackle of another lightsaber igniting sounded behind him, green flashing in his peripheral view. Kylo should have known he would be on base. Skywalker wouldn’t let him get away without a confrontation.

He steeled himself.

“I don’t want to fight,” he confessed.

Skywalker’s fury rolled from his shoulders like a thick cape. There was no denying he was the son of Darth Vader, not when he created the perfect image of just rage.

“You destroyed my life’s work,” his uncle seethed, blue eyes narrow and icy. “You killed my best friend, your mother’s husband, your _own_ father, and now you tell me you don’t want to fight? Your actions say otherwise. You’ve been begging for a fight.”

Kylo grit his teeth, closing his eyes against the truth. He had been right after all; there was no option but to leave, there was no forgiveness to be found with his family. He had known this but it still stung, a mostly-healed scab peeled away only to start bleeding anew. Where was his anger? Kylo had every reason to be just as furious with his uncle but he couldn’t find that urge to tear limb from limb.

He had no choice. Kylo unclipped his own saber, considering the black hilt for a still moment, then ignited the hot, spitting blade, spinning it in one hand.

There were no words that could have possibly stopped him, or even so much as given his uncle pause. Skywalker charged, green saber blazing as it slashed through the air. There was nothing but the shriek of ion engines and the clashing of their blades, his opponent’s hurt and rage overwhelming.

In the years since their last meeting, Skywalker hadn’t lost any of his fabled strength.

He might have been stronger, even.

There was no fight in Kylo and however powerful he might have been, Skywalker had the advantage. He couldn’t kill his uncle. Not as he had his father. Kylo still remembered a time when he had admired the Jedi Master and _that_ man, the man in his memories, was the one he saw standing before him, even as Skywalker carved through the space between them with the heat of his saber.

Kylo lifted his own weapon, defending himself against Skywalker’s strike. His uncle leaped back, rolling his shoulders before swiping at him again.

A voice cried out in a panicked plea, “Master Luke, stop!”

Narrowed, blue eyes shot over to the young woman, dodging rubble as she approached in a run. Understanding crossed his aged face, his lips dropping into a frown as he glared at Kylo with fresh intensity.

“You’ve dragged my student into this?” Skywalker growled. “Is there no limit to your shame and disgrace?”

It all happened so quickly. His uncle charged with renewed anger and Kylo moved to block him, but rather than the clatter of sabers, a soft, small body collided with his chest. Rey stood between master and apprentice, arms stretched wide. Skywalker had already swung his blade; it was too late to stop.

There was a searing flash that caught his jaw, slicing through his cheek and the ridge of his brow, narrowly missing his eye, and he swallowed the warm, summer smell of her hair. All he could see was the shock and horror on his uncle’s face, the grief as he realized he had failed yet another young student. Then the stench of burnt flesh hit him.

Kylo dropped to his knees as she fell, a helpless sob tearing from his throat.

_No._

Not Rey. Not like this. Not for _him._

His vision blurred. Her lips were still bright and swollen from the force of his kiss. She had never wanted any part in this war and yet...

Gingerly, Kylo turned her body, an arm around her waist as he cradled her. The damage was extensive; Skywalker’s lightsaber had carved into the delicate skin where her neck met shoulder and along her sternum, between the small swells of her breasts and stretching to her navel. His fingers trembled as he laid a palm over her chest, seeking the thud of a heartbeat.

It was faint, but she was alive. He could feel the sticky rattle of her breath in her lungs as she struggled to heave air.

His uncle approached, stricken by what he had done.

Kylo snarled, gripping Rey closer. “Don’t you dare touch her.”

“She needs medical attention, Ben. The Resistance--”

“They can’t have her either,” he spat, scrambling to his feet. No one could, as far as Kylo was concerned.

He tucked her face into his chest. He should have just killed Skywalker, then none of this would have happened.

“She’s _mine.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please don't throw bricks at me. :)


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OOPS.

She didn’t want to open her eyes. She was surrounded by liquid warmth, her limbs floating and seemingly disjointed from the rest of her. Had she died? Was this what came after? Perhaps she was to be reborn, and now she was no more than a vulnerable clutch of cells, dividing and growing in the safety of her mother’s womb. Rey was nearly able to convince herself of this when there was a soft tap against duraglass; it echoed in the fluid around her.

Her eyes darted towards the sound, vision blurred by bacta. Rey could still make out who stood just outside her narrow, tubular tank. His palm was pressed flat to the duraglass, glove missing, his face half obscured but still clear enough for her to see how gaunt he had become.

Her throat closed.

_The battle._ Memories came flooding back in a violent torrent--agreeing to run, finding a ship, returning for Kylo, only to discover him crossing blades with Luke Skywalker. She remembered in an instant the absolute _horror_ that crossed the Jedi’s face as his saber left its mark. It had been stupid but for a moment, she had thought she was going to lose Kylo.

She had automatically jumped between him and his uncle.

Rey gagged, frantically turning about in the bacta tank. Everything went dark again and the last thing she saw was Kylo running for the door, shouting as he went.

 

* * *

 

Brightness blared overhead, burning pink through her eyelids. She opened her eyes again, this time to stark white and starched sheets. Instantly, Kylo was at her side, sitting at the edge of her bed, his large hand taking hers.

From the side of his jaw, through his cheek and brow, was an angry, red scar. He must have removed the bandage that had been covering it before to make use of both eyes. Mercifully, he hadn’t lost one of his eyes to the flash of Luke Skywalker’s blade. Rey bit her lip--this was all her fault. If she hadn’t intruded where she didn’t belong, she wouldn’t be injured now, useless and confined to an infirmary bed.

“Rey,” he whispered, brushing back her hair with gentle fingers. “I thought I was going to lose you.”

The affection in his tone had her breath catching. He placed a hand beside his pillow, resting his weight on it as he leaned over to find her lips. She trembled as she covered his cheek with her palm, her shame unbearable.

He mumbled against her mouth, “I don’t know what I would have done, if--if…”

Kylo couldn’t even say the words. Rey hushed him, shaking her head as she sniffed. He didn’t have to say anything, she already knew. If she had died, he would have torn his uncle apart, then the Resistance, then the First Order. Rey could feel it in her gut; he would have destroyed the galaxy on her behalf.

“Where are we?” she asked.

He slowly lifted his face away. “A private medical station in the Mid Rim. We should be safe here for now but we shouldn’t stay long. It’s only a matter of time before someone comes looking for us.”

Rey doubted anyone would go searching for her but Kylo certainly had a sizeable target on his back. They needed to find a system as far out in the Outer Rim as civilization ventured and hide away...at least for the time being. Perhaps in the future, it would be different but so long as the First Order grasped at power, Kylo couldn’t be safe in more populated areas.

“Oh, lovely,” came a voice from the door, “you’re already planning your escape. That’s just what I love to hear from a patient that’s been in critical care for the past three days.”

Kylo stiffened, head turning sharply towards the unexpected visitor.

The woman was short and gruff, her vibrant, ginger hair pulled away from her face in a severe bun. Around her temples, gray was starting to spread. Despite her stern expression, Rey could see the laughter lines that bracketed her mouth and tentatively, she offered a feeble smile.

“Before you go running off to some cesspool beyond the reach of modern medical care, I need to speak with--” she paused to check the data pad in her palm, “--Miss Rey about future treatment for her condition.”

The woman’s gaze narrowed at Kylo. “Alone,” she asserted.

_“Condition?”_ he seethed. “She just got out of a bacta tank! Her injuries have been healed.”

Rey shifted uncomfortably on the bed. Was she ill? She could think of no other reason why a doctor would want to speak with her alone.

“Whatever you have to tell me you can say in front of him,” she said, helpless as she glanced at Kylo. She could feel the sudden fear that choked him and reached for his hand, their fingers interlacing to clench together painfully.

The woman would not be budged. “And yet, I must insist. He has to leave the room.”

When Kylo stood to tower over her, the woman shot him a dangerous look--she was unimpressed by his intimidation tactics. She squared her shoulders, meeting his glare with one of her own.

“If you think you can scare me, _boy,_ you’re going to be disappointed. I deal with punks much more frightening than the likes of you in these parts. You’re not in the Core anymore.”

If the situation had been any different, Rey would have found it amusing. Kylo looked appropriately cowed by the woman, though at full height she barely reached his chest. She couldn’t laugh, however, not when concern coiled in her stomach. Still, it seemed they had no choice in the matter.

She squeezed his hand briefly, then untangled her fingers.

“Just give us ten minutes,” she murmured, “I’ll be fine. I’m sure it’s nothing.”

Kylo didn’t like this. Not one bit. He huffed, morosely resting his forehead against hers. “I’ll be right outside. Say the word--even _think_ it, and I’ll come back in.”

Of that, Rey could be certain.

The door slid shut with a soft hiss and they were alone. The woman pulled up a chair, crossing her legs as she sat.

“I’m Doctor Saevin. I’ve been monitoring your recovery over the past few days. You’re very fortunate; if the injury had cut any lower...well. I’ll get to the point.”

Rey had no way of preparing herself.

“You’re about six weeks into your first trimester.”

You’re about six weeks into your first trimester.

_You’re about six weeks into your first trimester._

She may have been raised on backwater Jakku but even Rey knew what that meant.

_No._ This couldn’t be happening.

It had to be a cruel joke--but Doctor Saevin wasn’t laughing. In the span of eight, little words, her entire life had been changed. In that moment, Rey was infinitely grateful the woman had insisted Kylo wait outside.

Her voice cracked as she spoke. “I’m pregnant?”

Doctor Saevin sighed. “Since your bumbling bodyguard didn’t express any concern over miscarrying when you were brought in, I assumed you didn’t know yet or you hadn’t told him for whatever reason. You have a few options to consider, going forward.”

Her vision swam. Oh, _Maker_ help her. She was supposed to decide what to do?

Rey wasn’t ready for this. She didn’t know how to be a mother, how was she going to care for a child? She was so young. How was Kylo going to feel about this? Rey almost didn’t want to know.

“If you plan to terminate, it’s best not to wait. We can quickly do the operation now and he will never know.”

“I can’t do that,” Rey whispered. That, she _did_ know.

Doctor Saevin nodded, efficiently changing strategies. “Very well. If you intend to carry the fetus to term, you need to prepare yourself. Growing a human being isn’t exactly a pleasant or _easy_ experience.”

Rey swallowed, tears dripping off the tip of her nose as she gently placed a hand over her womb. She couldn’t feel the tiny being that was just starting to develop within her but she suspected it wouldn’t be long.

Any child of Kylo Ren was sure to be just as powerful in the force as his father.

 

* * *

 

Rey wasn’t sure who was more pleased to leave the medical station, her or Kylo. She had lied--knowing full well how furious he would be about it later--about her conversation with Doctor Saevin, brushing off his concern with an easy smile.

He slid into the pilot’s seat, his back to her as she stared down at her flat abdomen. Rey had to tell him. A pregnancy was a complication they weren’t prepared for, a newborn infant less so and she wasn’t even sure that he would want to keep the child, though the alternative was impossible. Rey couldn’t end the life that was half him.

The truth died on her lips. Once they were safely in hyperspace, he guided her away from the cockpit. No words were said as he slowly undressed her, peeling off piece after piece to reveal freckled skin.

She hadn’t seen the damage while wearing the hospital garbs that now pooled around her feet, but when she tipped her chin down, she saw the line carved between her breasts. While it was mostly healed, she would always have a scar. His lips dropped to her shoulder, carefully brushing mottled skin.

Flustered, Rey looked away.

Kylo sat on the sole, narrow bunk of their ship, his mouth now clinging to the bit of softness just beneath her belly button. Was it because of her changing diet, or… Rey bit her lip, vision blurring as she watched him kiss his way down her stomach. No, she determined, that couldn’t be it. She was suddenly hyper aware of his full lips, wetly mouthing over where their child was nestled.

“I need to tell you something,” he mumbled, not daring to look at her. If he _had,_ Kylo would have seen her cover her mouth with the curl of her fingers, hot tears spilling down her cheeks. She couldn’t wait to tell him, not when it would change so _much_.

He continued on. “I don’t want a response. Whatever your feelings are, they won’t change mine.”

Rey froze, eye widening at him. “Kylo--”

“I love you, Rey.”

She hiccupped a sob and his gaze darted up, round, brown eyes meeting hers. Emotions overwhelmed her and she blurted back without thinking.

“I’m pregnant.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YEAH, I WENT THERE.
> 
> Thank you so, so much for all the love and support I've gotten for this fic. Sorry for the lack of porn in this chapter, we'll be back to our regularly scheduled smut next time. ;)


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OH MY GOD, GUYS! Thank you so much for 10,000+ hits! I wouldn't be writing this fic if it weren't for your endless support of this trash au. :)

_I’m pregnant._

Nearly losing her had brought out feelings Kylo hadn’t known he was still capable of. Feelings he had doubted truly existed. He had spent months ignoring the pangs of longing in his chest, refusing to label his own yearning or even the joy he felt every time they found each other again. Holding her in his arms, her breaths shallow and broken, had forced him to face the truth.

Now she stood before him, her announcement hanging in the air between them, weeping.

A child was unexpected. _Inconvenient,_ even. Yet, as his gaze was drawn down to her belly, warmth he was helpless to stop swelled in his chest. She seemed so small in that instant; if Kylo placed his hand over her stomach, his pinky and thumb could reach either side.

Idly, he wondered how long that would last.

With the pad of his thumb, he smeared away the shining spot of his saliva he had left below her navel.

“Why,” he spoke in a low voice, “are you crying?”

It occurred to him then, perhaps Rey didn’t want his child. Kylo wanted to be furious, to spit and snarl, but all he had room for was the startling _hurt_ that settled in his heart. He hadn’t asked for an answer to his confession but it felt like he had been given one.

“I’m scared,” she replied in a whisper, trembling as she coiled her arms around herself. “I didn’t have a mother, Kylo. How am I supposed to become one? I’m going to do something wrong and...and--”

She hesitated and Kylo understood.

“You thought I wouldn’t want our child,” he accused. When Rey didn’t deny it, he continued sharply. “Well, I do. I want you, our baby, and whatever comes with that.”

As he said the words, their meaning suddenly struck him. As of that moment, he was responsible for another human being. He should have been terrified--and some part of Kylo _was_ \--but his fear was nothing to the elation he felt as he imagined Rey growing full and perfectly round to accommodate the new life he had put in her.

She laughed wetly, repeating to herself, “Our baby.”

Kylo guided her onto his lap, hands gripping her bare hips.

“As long as you want this, too,” he added quietly, trailing his fingers up the curve of her spine.

Ultimately, the decision was hers. Kylo swallowed at the thought that she could end the pregnancy--that she could have without ever telling him. They were trying to evade the First Order and it was selfish to want to keep their child when there was no guarantee of safety. If Supreme Leader Snoke ever discovered them, he would take the child and mold him as he saw fit. He wouldn’t blame her, if that was the choice she made.

She sniffled, her tear-stained face tucked under his chin. “I knew as soon as the doctor told me. Even though it’s reckless and dangerous, even if you were against it, I can’t harm someone that’s half _you.”_

_That,_ Kylo realized, was her answer.

 

* * *

 

Watching Rey sleep was oddly intimate. Her hair was tangled and her mouth had dropped open as she quietly snored, but nothing could detract from how absolutely stunning she was. She had stolen his shirt, though now it rode up to expose her stomach. Silently, he placed a hand over her abdomen, watching it rise and fall with each breath.

Kylo couldn’t sense the baby, though he had already spent over an hour trying to. The contact of skin was no help, it was too early to feel anything.

He contented himself with the softness of her skin and the warm, puffing sighs she made in her sleep, stroking gently with his thumb. Kylo knew he had been given a second chance at life with her, and though he had done nothing to deserve such a gift, he greedily accepted it.

Slowly, not wanting to wake Rey, his palm slid under the hem of his pilfered shirt to cover her breast. Kylo gave a light squeeze, fingers clenching around the small mound of flesh, and he felt her sensitive nipple pull tight as his attention. Smiling to himself, he lifted the shirt to nuzzle her chest, peppering her other breast with chaste kisses.

Rey made a low sound in her sleep, shifting slightly but not stirring. When she settled once more, Kylo moved his lips lower, tongue darting out to leave glistening swipes along the length of her puckered scar. He could have lost more than her in his fight against Skywalker; his child had been endangered too. If he had known then, there was no doubt in his mind that Kylo would have slain his uncle without regret or hesitation.

Kylo paid close attention to the little spot of suppleness under her navel, pulling her flesh into his mouth and roughly sucking until the skin flooded with blood. He lifted his head to admire the bruising mark he had made, brushing his lips over the reddened blotch with overwhelming affection.

When his head finally rested between her thighs, she made a humming noise, relaxed muscles parting for him. Kylo stretched her open to his gaze with his fingers, his mouth ducking towards her clit, his lips closing around the raised flesh.

She woke with a keen, her narrow hips jolting with shock.

Rey started, squirming under him. “Kylo! _Oh--”_

He flattened his tongue against her with a long lick, grinning as her voice dissolved in a drawn-out moan. Now that she was awake, there was little point to being gentle. Kylo pried her legs apart further, catching with his tongue the slick that spilled from her cunt.

“Relax,” he mumbled, nipping at her inner thigh. He wanted to take her slowly, after delicately taking her apart with his mouth.

He swiped with his tongue again and Rey sighed, hooking one leg over his shoulder while Kylo pressed her other flat to the bunk, spreading her out and tucking in like she was a proper meal and he was starving. He plundered and prodded with hot flashes of his tongue and loud, indecent slurps.

She tasted different, _sharper,_ but he couldn’t be bothered when she was so remarkably responsive. Her nails scraped along the back of his scalp when she moved her fingers through his hair, then gave it a prompt yank. Kylo grunted, scraping with his teeth in retaliation.

She groaned helplessly, grinding her pelvis against him with unsteady jerks. Rey was close.

Smirking, he flicked his tongue against her clit a final time, then lifted his face away, chin shiny.

Her head fell back as she growled, trying to direct his lips back down. “By the maker, Kylo, if you don’t make me come _right_ now--”

He drifted up her body, careful to not rest too much of his weight as he loomed over her, his hands curled around her waist.

“When you _come--”_ he punctuated the word with a slow roll of his hips, entering her easily, “--it’ll be around my cock.”

Rey exhaled as he bottomed out, buried fully in her. She was so hot and slippery around him that it was nearly unbearable, but he ignored the urge to ruthlessly pound, exiting her heat to smoothly thrust back into her.

He clenched his teeth, beads of sweat gathering on his forehead. She met the next rock, their hips clashing with an audible, wet slap.

“So good,” she whispered, tugging him close enough to kiss him when she craned her neck. It was sloppy and tasted of her tang, but she clung to him for more, ankles crossing at the divot of his spine to guide him with the round heels of her feet.

Kylo braced himself on his elbows, gasping as she forced him deeper, squeezing her muscles teasingly.

“Fuck,” he uttered, forehead pressing into her collarbone. _“Fuck,_ you’re so perfect.”

She snickered breathlessly into his ear, nosing at his hair with a smile. “Flattery will get you nowhere.”

He found her lips again, smothering her with his own, his tongue slowly sweeping through her mouth.

“Somehow,” his hips slammed into hers with vigor, “I don’t believe you.”

Her laughter dissolved into a high-pitched moan, which stretched longer when he ground into her in just the right way.

She had already been on the verge of coming so when he repeated his thrust, rubbing against g-spot, Rey tumbled over the edge with a cry, her hips rocking sporadically. The sensation of her pussy, clenching with a rush of moisture around his cock, was simply divine. He fucked her through it, breath hitching as she became impossibly tight, until she outright _screamed_.

Kylo came with a growl, pressed deeply into her. She twitched, sighing against his throat as he spurt, hot and viscous. He nearly blacked out by the time he finished, and he had to pat her thigh to get Rey to unhook her feet. She slumped back, muscles still spasming with aftershocks.

He hissed as he slipped free, leaning onto his haunches to watch with interest as semen spilled from her reddened, swollen folds. It was odd to think, being with her like this had resulted in a child. He gathered the trickling come with his fingertips and pushed it back into her, where it belonged.

Her chest was still heaving, her legs open wide. She looked too tired to move so he carefully arranged her, gently laying out her limbs and massaging as he went, finally, squeezing himself into the spare space beside her.

She turned as her breathing evened, curling into him. Their skin was sticky with drying sweat but he rested his arm in the dip of her side, pulling her close.

“You’re certain about this, right?” she whispered, lips grazing over his pectorals. “If you’re not, I need to know. I’m not sure what I’ll do, but--”

“Rey,” he interrupted softly, “I meant what I said.”

Was that so hard to believe?

She inclined her head once, hesitating before wrapping an arm around his waist. “I’m not used to being wanted. I don’t ever want our baby to feel that way.”

Kylo knew that instant, he would spend a lifetime proving how wanted she was if he had to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> UH. 
> 
> So. There's some more anal stuff.

There were definite benefits to sharing a bed with Kylo on a nightly basis. He had made a point of proving this to Rey from the beginning, by waking her with his mouth pressed between her thighs, a hot, slick brand. He was, more often than not, the instigator of post-sleep romps, and that in part was because of her pregnancy.

Rey wasn’t sure how normal the exhaustion was but she often collapsed on their bunk, drifting off as life unfurled in her womb. They had to keep on the move and that certainly didn’t help, but Rey still couldn’t help but wonder if she was supposed to be _this_ tired, regardless of the energy her body spent on their child.

If Doctor Saevin had been accurate in how far along she was, Rey was only just shy of ten weeks. Yet, the little bubble of roundness below her navel was expanding noticeably. Perhaps Doctor Saevin had been off by a few weeks. Or perhaps her skinniness contributed to how quickly she seemed to be growing.

Rey let the concern go, smoothing her shirt down and scooting away from Kylo’s furnace of a body just enough to twist onto her other side and face him. He was still asleep, a rarity considering how light of a sleeper he was, and softly snoring, his lips parted and a glistening point of saliva at the corner of his mouth.

She snickered to herself at his ungraceful slumber, tentatively brushing her lips over the tip of his nose. When that didn’t wake him, she moved lower, hands gently peeling back their blanket, kissing the end of his chin.

Kylo had the tendency to sleep without a stitch on him, which was both convenient and a nuisance for the same reason: _heat_. The pregnancy had her running warmer than usual and a solid mass of muscle and sheer heat beside her had Rey kicking off the sheets more often than not.

At the moment, however, she could appreciate the convenience of having Kylo laid out and naked, all for her to take happy advantage of.

Rey nipped at his adam’s apple, tongue darting out to taste the salt of his skin. His eyelashes fluttered in response but he didn’t stir, still caught in a dreamscape of his own making. She smiled, wondering if some variation of her ever visited him there, before her lips traced the line of his sternum.

Kylo made a low, snuffling sound, a large hand rising from their tangled sheets to lazily bat her away. She caught it, placing his palm to the crown of her head so that his fingers tangled into her hair as she pecked her way down the firmness of his abdominals. His stomach tightened under her mouth, long digits clenching in her hair for a moment as he shifted with a waking sigh, his cock twitching.

“Are you doing what I _think_ you’re doing?” he asked, voice cracking from hours of disuse.

Rey huffed, scraping her teeth along the flesh below his belly button in a way that made his hips jolt. “You just made this completely unsexy.”

He grunted as he propped himself up on his elbows to watch the path of her lips. “I beg to differ. It looks very sexy from here.”

Rey made a fist around his length and his breath hitched as she squeezed, his hands gathering her brown waves at the back of her skull to clear the view. He hummed, tensing when she lashed at him with her tongue, teasing his head with small, wet swipes. Finally, she licked along the vein that ran up the underside of his cock, then captured him in her mouth.

She slowly bobbed up and down, letting him guide her by her hair, and the reaction was nearly instantaneous--he babbled excitedly.

“Fuck, Rey, you’re so perfect. I want to fill your gorgeous, little mouth with my come, and taste it when I kiss you, and--”

Rey gave his a deep, languishing suck, hollowing her cheeks, and he promptly broke into a moan. She gradually lifted her face away, releasing him with an obscene _pop_. Meeting his gaze, she drew her finger into her mouth, pulling it away slick and glistening.

Kylo blinked back at her. There was a flush that had spread across his pale, broad chest, darkening as she dragged her wet finger down the stretch of skin between his balls and ass. He sucked in sharply as she circled his puckered flesh in questioning silence; he made no objection, holding his breath as she gingerly drove her digit forward.

His head fell back against the bunk in a flurry of dark hair, his muscular thighs stretching apart to offer her more room. Rey smirked, suckling the skin that stretched over his hipbone as he trembled helplessly under her touch, her finger stroking at a mild pace. She had heard that some men liked this but she hadn’t anticipated how quickly it would get him off.

In mere moments, he was panting.

Rey gathered him into her mouth again, clenching her fist tighter still and taking him as far as she could without gagging. She curled her finger slightly, nudging against a sensitive spot that had his hips jerking without control. Rey forced herself to breathe through her nose as he inadvertently thrust into her reddening lips, bubbling drool spilling down his thick length.

_“Faster,”_ he insisted with a hiss, a short, startled shout bursting from his lungs when she obliged.

Seconds later, his hips stuttered, a growl rumbling in his chest as he suddenly spilled himself. The familiar, salty bitterness of his spew hit the back of her throat in hot bursts and she swallowed around him, elongating his pleasure to the point of decadent pain.

She perched herself over him, snickering as she admired how utterly undone he was. Kylo flashed her an apologetic look; he wouldn’t be moving for awhile, his chest still heaving. Rey ducked forward to ease his concern with a brush of her lips against his brow. She was perfectly content waiting for him to return the favor.

“That,” he wheezed, “was unexpected.”

Rey laughed, settling back into his arms.

 

* * *

 

Rey woke to an urgent feeling she couldn’t quite express with words. Kylo was snoring again--she really had worn him out--but she ignored him in favor of the odd glimmering sensation at her center. She sat up abruptly, hand flying to her belly.

It wasn’t a physical feeling but a delicate fluttering of energy she could sense in the force.

She could feel the baby.

Wait-- _no_.

Rey focussed on the life within her, pulling her shirt up to place her palm directly on her skin. There were two points of light, so closely intertwined that the second could have been a soft echo of the first.

She was carrying twins.

Blindly, she reached over to shake Kylo’s shoulder. He woke with a start, grunting as he jumped.

“What’s--”

Rey shushed him as she snatched his hand, pressing it to her womb. He froze, eyes widening with understanding. Kylo could sense them as well, faintly pulsating under her skin.

“There’s two,” he whispered in awe. “I’ve given you _two.”_

“Twins,” she murmured back, unwilling to fully break the hush that fell over them.

Her inexplicable weariness, the early appearing bump, finally clicked.

He sniffed and Rey glanced at his face to realize there were tears trickling over his cheeks. Kylo closed his eyes to wipe them away, embarrassed by the emotion welling in him. She pulled him closer, letting him drag her into his lap and drape his arms around her protectively.

“I’m sorry,” he mumbled, lips finding the shell of her ear. “I never thought--I didn’t think I’d ever want--but now...now I have all three of you and--”

Rey knew what he was trying to say, even though his thoughts were strung together in incoherent burbles of speech. She was reminded of what he’s lost, what they’ve both lost to cruel childhoods and isolation. He needed to remember what they were gaining.

“We’re a family now,” she breathed into his hair. “That’s more important than anything else.”

He shuddered a sigh. Nothing more needed to be said. The connection between them, the strange pull she had felt towards him since the day they met, flowed openly and she could sense his thoughts and emotions as if they were her own. She knew his sorrow and pain, his hesitant, fearful joy. It mirrored her own.

“I love you,” he told her, with such conviction that it must have been the truth.

Somehow, her answer came easier now. “I love you, too.”

She hadn’t realized this until the moment she said it, but the feeling was real. His lips were on her before she could say anything else.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll be returning to more (questionable) plot next time. Sorry for such a short chapter!

**Author's Note:**

> Heh.


End file.
